Remus Lupin was well and truly alone.
The world seemed quieter now; shrouded in a heavy, suffocating silence, that at times made it difficult for him to breathe. He hated the silence. No matter how much he complained about Marlene's clamorous laughter or James' booming tone whilst they were around, he would do anything to hear them just one more time.
The familiar laughter that once echoed through the corridors of Hogwarts, was now a distant memory, haunting the edges of his mind like the softest whisper.
He missed the sight of James' utterly infectious grin, that even Remus couldn't deny had brought him so much immeasurable joy over the years. Even though his ranting, both about Lily Evans and Quidditch had been incorrigible, Remus would press his pillow to his ears for a hundred more years if it meant having his brother back by his side.
Remus pressed a cigarette to his lips, thinking about lovely Lily - a beacon of kindness and understanding in a world that often seemed far too cruel. He thought back to their early mornings awake reading inside the safety of the common room, to their shared evenings up studying away from the ruckus that seemed to permanently accompany their group of friends.
Her beloved copy of Jane Eyre now sat planted almost permanently within his grasp. Not to read, but to admire. The way the elegance of her writing looped and curved within the margin, small enough so not to cover up the printed text.
His eyes lazily drifted to the mess of scribbles that occasionally littered the pages. Marlene. Remus almost felt the need to laugh at the thought of the girl, who was by far one of the liveliest and funniest women he had ever had the fortune of meeting.
She was loud and boisterous, but also so incredibly loving and would die protecting those she loved. She had always been the same - right up until the very end.
Remus glanced up from the novel, tiresomely taking in the appearance of his cottage - a place he once considered to be his home, was now a house with none of his family in sight. The armchair he sat nestled within had faded into a muted tapestry of blues and greens, worn by months on end of use.
Why leave when he had no one else to visit.
Nowhere else to go.
Remus carefully picked up the album that had been purposefully placed at his feet. His eyes had scanned each page so many times by now, that they were all completely computed to his memory.
As he meticulously traced the outline of Lily's cursive writing upon the cover, he couldn't help but let his heart ache and grieve once more: 'Our Summer 1977'.
The first photo he looked at depicted a picnic on the beach by the Brennan's house, with Sophia front and centre. She had on a beautiful sundress that flared at the waist and a matching sun hat, that was perched crookedly upon her head of dark hair. As the sun beamed, it had cast a warm orange light to surround her hat, almost as if it had known - it had surrounded her head like a halo.
Sophia had always been like an angel to Remus; so incredibly fiery and compassionate.
Remus closed his eyes, imagining that beautiful day down by the coast, as if it were only yesterday. He could almost taste the sweet tang of strawberries, feel the warmth of the sun on his back and hear the rustle of leaves from the gentle summer breeze.
Remus paused over the next photo, taking in the sight of the blonde girl staring out onto the vast expanse of the sea. Beautiful Hallie, who seemed to carry an imperceptible glow of elegance wherever she went.
Within the wizarding photograph, she moved with poise and grace within her dress, that flowed around her like liquid moonlight. It shimmered subtle shades of blue and silver, due to the reflective beams of the retiring sun. Her skin seemed to catch the warmth of the light - a soft glow that highlighted her delicate features and high cheekbones.
Hallie had always had that aura about her; not just in appearance, but in personality too. It was a kind of radiance that seemed to emanate from within. Remus had always felt incredibly drawn to her sense of individuality and purpose, forever striving to prove that she didn't need to live up to other's inconsequential expectations of her.
He remembered her as she had been; the person who had an innate ability to see the very best in him, even when he could not foresee it for himself.
Mary had been captured in the next photograph amidst the Brennan's garden. Her dark curls of hair catching the light and her smile bright and genuine. For a moment, Remus could almost hear the echoes of her laughter, feeling the warmth of her presence beside him.
But the memory quickly dissolved into the cold, hard truth of what she had done. Mary had obliviated herself, erasing all memories of the war and, in doing so, also erasing Remus from her life. Mary had lost every single one of her friends in the first wizarding war.
But she hadn't lost him.
A pang of betrayal coursed through him, sharp and unyielding, leaving an emptiness he could not ignore.
In some ways, Mary's betrayal felt worse.
Remus couldn't shake the feeling of abandonment: the sting of knowing that Mary had chosen to leave it all behind. Leave him behind. Her decision to erase her past and with it, their friendship, was something he struggled to comprehend.
She had left him to carry the weight of their friends shared memories alone. A burden that seemed to feel forever heavier with each passing day.
The final photo Remus turned to look at, felt like a physical blow to the chest. The boy's hair fell in a cascade of dark waves down to his shoulders, framing his sharp, angular features, as he laughed towards a grinning Peter Pettigrew.
How could his friend, who he had trusted so implicitly, be the one to tear them all apart? The person who had been like a brother to him for ten years?
The realisation of his own obliviousness gnawed at him; a relentless ache that twisted his insides and left him hollow. Anguish coursed through him, sharp and cutting, interwoven with a deep sense of betrayal that threatened to consume him.
Remus remembered their laughter, secrets and the brotherhood the four boys had intermittently formed. A brotherhood that Remus had once believed could never be tarnished, was now tainted with a stain of disloyalty that could never be erased.
Memories of Sirius, with his easy-going smile and infectious energy, haunted Remus. They seemed like a cruel mockery of his present reality, where he had no one but himself.
Maybe Hallie had been wrong. Maybe he really was better off on his own.
Had it really all been at act to Sirius? The friendships, the mischief, the devotion, the love?
Remus thought it was implausible to simply disregard the love shared between Sirius Black and Hallie Brennan. No matter how much Remus was hurt by Sirius' actions, he knew that Sirius' love for Hallie had been the one part that was truthful right up until the very end.
Hallie Brennan had taught Sirius Black how to love.
Sirius had always had a brooding intensity to him and a rebellious charm. The kind of man who moved through life with a devil-may-care attitude.
Hallie, on the other hand, had the kindest heart and a quiet strength that drew people to her. She was the light to his shadow, balancing his wild spirit with her unwavering warmth and compassion.
Two polar opposites.
The light and the dark.
The pureblood and the veela.
Remus shook his head with realisation.
Maybe their love really had been troubled from the very start.
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Word count: 1315
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Troubled Love║Sirius Black
Fanfiction.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·. Sirius Black did not do feelings. He did not do love. And he certainly didn't understand why love was happening to him. Sirius had experienced a fair share of women throughout his life, yet somehow there was something about the ve...
