desertion

25

Buck hasn't been around and it's strange. He hasn't been talking to Dad and I know that for a fact. Dad has been staying out late and coming back with bruises all over him.

It bothers me that I don't know what's going on, but I should know not to snoop. Especially after what happened the last time.

Dad and I's relationship has been off. We've been arguing a lot still and it's taking a toll on the both of us. I hate arguing with him but I can't help but be angry and upset.

It's like I've lost the ability to feel any other emotion except for anger. I hate how I am. I hate myself truly. I'm falling back into the hole I fought so hard to get out of.

I sigh as I sit on my bed, my leg shaking uncontrollably. My door opens then, scaring me out of my trance.

"Hey." Dad says, making me look up. "Hi." I say. "Uh.. your grandparents called. You should call them." Dad says.

I want to get angry at him for even suggesting that after what they said to me at the barbecue, but I decide not to. I nod my head before picking up my phone.

I dial Grandma's number before putting it up to my ear. Dad leaves the room and that's when I notice yet another bruise on the back of his arm. A click on the other side of the phone sounds. "Hello?" I say. "Lydia! How is Chris holding up?" Grandma asks. I scoff. "He's okay. He's having nightmares but other than that, he's his normal self." I say.

"Good! We've been worried sick about him. Your dad said I should check on you too, but you're so old now that you can take care of yourself." Grandma says with a small laugh. "Yeah. I can." I say, wanting nothing more than this conversation to end. "Well, if he is okay then that's all. Love you." Grandma says. "Love you too." I say with a scoff before hanging up the phone.

I stand up and put on my shoes before walking to the living room. "That was quick." Dad says. "Yeah. I'm going for a walk." I say, not looking at him as I walk to the door. "Are you okay?" Dad asks. "Fine." I say before walking out the door.

I walk down the street, looking around. The trees go over the sidewalk creating shadows. I look at them as I walk. That's when I decide where to go.

I need to go to Buck's. I haven't seen him in ages. Maybe something's wrong. That makes me speed up my walking pace as I walk to his apartment complex.

Hell, I even start running.

*********

I step out the elevator and walk over to Buck's apartment door. I knock three times before stepping back and waiting. The door opens and Buck stands there. "Lydia. You can't be here." Buck says. "What? Why?" I ask. "I can't explain much. It's confidential." Buck says.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I ask, stepping inside the apartment, ignoring Buck's previous comment. That's when I notice someone standing at the kitchen counter.

"I'm Chase Mackey. Buck's lawyer. You're Lydia Diaz, right? Eddie's daughter?" The guy asks, emphasizing the word lawyer. "Lawyer?!" I ask.

"I need my job back, Lydia." Buck says. "Okay? Why does that require you to have a freaking lawyer?!" I ask. "He's suing the department." The lawyer says.

"What?!" I say. "Lydia.. I-" Buck says. "That's why you haven't been around. This explains a lot. God, what did you do, Evan?" I ask.

Buck just kind of looks at me. "I meant it when I said I couldn't lose you." I say, crossing my arms. "I know you did. You won't lose me." Buck says. I scoff. "You're suing the department for goodness sake. That means I can't see you and neither can Dad, or Chris, even the rest of the 118 can't! This is seriously one of the stupidest things you've done, Buckley." I say.

"Lydia. You don't know the full story." Buck says. "Then enlighten me." I say, staring him down. Buck just stands there, not saying anything. "Right.." I say before walking towards the door. He calls my name as I walk out of the apartment but I don't stop nor turn around.

I keep walking. I keep walking until I'm home.