desertion

164

LYDIA

I don't know when it happened, or how it happened, but somewhere along the way, I started falling for Mason. It wasn't like a sudden realization-no, that would have been easier. It was subtle, like the gradual shift in the seasons when you don't notice the leaves turning until the whole forest is aflame with color.

At first, it was the small things that caught my attention. How he'd always make sure I was okay before diving into a case. The way he'd make stupid jokes to lighten the mood when I was stressed or when I had too many things running through my head. There was a kindness in him, an easy-going attitude that somehow matched my more serious nature. He knew how to balance me out.

And then, there was the way he looked at me. Those glances that would linger just a little too long, his eyes always soft, but with something deeper there. Maybe it was the way his hand would brush mine when he passed me a file, or when he'd make sure I was comfortable in our shared space. Little things, but they were enough to send my heart racing, and before I knew it, I was becoming more and more drawn to him.

I couldn't keep denying it anymore.

We were sitting in the office, our desks a cluttered mess of case files and coffee cups, our usual routine interrupted by the heavy weight of the ongoing investigation. But honestly, I was more focused on him than I should've been. I tried to keep my attention on the files in front of me, but my eyes kept wandering back to Mason. He was hunched over his desk, studying the details of the case, his brow furrowed in concentration, that small crease on his forehead that I was starting to recognize as his "thinking face."

I couldn't help but admire him. The way he handled stress, the way he always tried his best, always wanted to help. But what really struck me was how, even with everything happening around us, he never stopped being kind. He always had time for me, always made sure I was okay, even if I didn't ask for it.

My fingers trembled as I sifted through the papers in front of me. I was starting to get frustrated, the mess of paperwork getting in the way of my thoughts. Without really thinking, I shoved the stack of papers to the side with my arm, sending them flying across the floor in a chaotic spread.

Mason's head shot up, confusion flickering across his face. He stared at the mess for a beat, then looked up at me, his eyebrows raised. "What are you doing?" he asked, his voice laced with both amusement and concern.

I shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. "I needed room," I said, my voice sounding much too casual for how flustered I felt.

He let out a small laugh, shaking his head, before turning back to his own files. "Okay, well, good luck with that."

I just gave him a sheepish smile. "I'll clean it up later."

Silence stretched between us as we both worked, but I could feel the tension in the air, the unspoken things swirling around in my mind. I kept glancing at him, my heart racing every time our eyes met, and I wondered-no, knew-that I wasn't the only one feeling something more than just the professional connection between us.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I stood up from my desk, the creak of the chair loud in the quiet room. My legs felt shaky, my breath coming a little faster than usual. I knew I had to do it-whatever "it" was. It felt like the moment was now or never.

I walked over to Mason's desk, my feet heavier than I expected. When I stopped in front of him, I felt like I might combust from the nerves crawling up my spine. My hands fidgeted at my sides as I tried to find the right words.

"Mason," I started, my voice a little shaky. "I-I need to tell you something."

He looked up at me, concern flashing in his eyes. "What's going on? You okay?"

I shook my head slightly, trying to collect my thoughts. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest, each beat loud in my ears. "I-I don't know how to say this, but I think you should know that..."

I felt my breath catch. This was harder than I thought. Why was it so hard to admit something that had been growing inside me for so long?

He watched me, his gaze gentle but puzzled, sensing that something was off. "Lydia, you're starting to freak me out a little. What's going on?"

I laughed nervously, rubbing the back of my neck. "I think... I think I'm falling for you," I blurted out, the words rushing out of me like a floodgate that had finally been opened.

For a moment, Mason didn't say anything. He just stared at me, blinking like he hadn't fully processed what I'd just said. I felt the panic rise in my chest, heat creeping up my neck as I realized I'd probably just made a complete fool of myself.

"I'm sorry," I rushed out, shaking my head, my voice suddenly too small. "I shouldn't have said that. It's just-everything's been so-" I stopped, unable to find the right words.

Before I could continue, Mason stood up, and then, to my surprise, his lips were on mine.

I froze, completely caught off guard. My mind scrambled to catch up, but before I could process it fully, the kiss deepened, and I felt my heart stop racing for a moment, my entire body coming alive at the sensation of his lips on mine. His hands found my arms, pulling me closer, and everything felt... right. It was easy, natural, like we had always been meant to do this.

But then, just as quickly, Mason pulled back, his hands still gently resting on my arms, and I blinked up at him, my breath shallow.

"You didn't-" he started, his voice softer now. "You didn't mess it up, Lydia. You really didn't."

I could feel the weight of his words sinking in, but I was still reeling from the kiss, my heart still trying to catch up.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled again, the words spilling out of me without thinking. I couldn't help it. I was scared, unsure of everything that was happening between us.

Mason's hands cupped my face, his touch gentle but firm. He looked at me with his serious expression, his eyes locking onto mine. "Stop apologizing so much," he said quietly, his voice laced with affection.

I let out a small laugh, shaking my head, feeling the tension finally starting to melt away. "I can't help it."

He gave me a stern look, but it wasn't the kind that made me feel bad-it was the kind that made my chest tighten with warmth. "No more apologies," he said, his lips quirking up at the corners.

I laughed again, this time genuinely. "Okay, okay, no more apologizing."

Mason smiled at me, his eyes softening, and then he took a step closer. "I feel the same way," he said, his voice low, but full of meaning. "I've felt it for a while now."

My heart leaped in my chest, and I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. "You do?"

He nodded, that same smile lighting up his face. "Yeah, I do."

And then, as if I couldn't hold it in any longer, I kissed him again. This time, it was less tentative, more sure, as if everything that had been building inside me for so long had finally found its release.

Mason's surprise was evident, but the kiss deepened, and I felt like I could stay in this moment forever.

When we finally pulled away, breathless and smiling, I knew-this was just the beginning. And for once, I wasn't afraid to embrace it.