desertion

99

LYDIA

I woke up with a start, my alarm clock glowing faintly in the early morning light-6:30 a.m. I groaned softly, rubbing my eyes before swinging my legs over the side of my bed. My body felt heavy, my mind still clouded with sleep, but I knew I couldn't stay in bed. There was too much to do, too much to prove.

I shuffled into the kitchen, my socks silent against the floor. Mom had taught me how to make eggs when I was younger, and I decided it was the perfect comfort food for the morning. Dad would appreciate it. Buck would, too. I grabbed the eggs from the fridge and started cracking them into a bowl, the rhythm of whisking grounding me.

The faint creak of footsteps behind me made me turn. Buck stood in the doorway, his hair mussed from sleep, a tired smile on his face.

"Morning," he greeted, leaning against the frame.

"Morning," I replied, returning his smile faintly before turning back to my cooking.

"What's on the menu?" He asked, his voice light but tinged with curiosity.

"Eggs and bacon," I said simply, focusing on the sizzling pan.

Buck hesitated, and I could feel his gaze on my back. I glanced over my shoulder, catching his concerned expression. "What is it?" I asked, forcing a small smile to my lips.

Buck sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I've noticed Miles hasn't been around lately... and you've seemed upset. Did you two... break up?"

I froze for a moment, my hand tightening around the spatula. I bit my lip hard, forcing back the wave of emotion that threatened to rise. I couldn't spiral. Not now. Not ever. I had to keep it together. I nodded once, my throat tightening as I fought to keep my composure.

Buck's eyes softened. "How are you holding up?" He asked gently.

Clearing my throat, I focused on the eggs in front of me, cracking another one into the pan. "I'm fine," I said, my voice steady but distant.

Buck didn't look convinced, but he nodded. "Okay," he said quietly. "I'm going to wake up Chris."

I just nodded, keeping my focus on the pan until I heard his footsteps fade down the hall. When the eggs and bacon were done, I plated the food and sat it on the table, just as a knock sounded at the front door. I tilted my head, confused, before heading to open it.

Standing outside were Athena, Bobby, and May, all dressed casually. May's face lit up when she saw me, stepping forward to give me a hug. "Hey!" May greeted warmly.

I stepped aside to let them in. "Hey," I replied, smiling slightly at May's enthusiasm.

As soon as we were inside, May turned to me with excitement. "So, have you heard back from any colleges yet?"

I nodded, a small smile breaking through my tired expression. "I got into USC. That's where I want to go."

May squealed, pulling me into another hug. "That's amazing! I'm so happy for you!"

Bobby and Athena offered their congratulations, Athena giving me a warm hug while Bobby smiled proudly. "That's a huge accomplishment, kid," Bobby said.

"Thanks," I said softly, my smile lingering. "You want me to make some more eggs and bacon? I don't mind."

Athena shook her head. "No, baby, we already ate. But thank you."

I nodded, my smile fading slightly as I followed them into the kitchen, where Chris and Buck were already digging into their plates. I had started cleaning the mess I'd made, scrubbing the pan vigorously as Athena sat down at the table.

Athena glanced at me. "I haven't seen Miles around lately. Is everything okay?"

The question hit like a punch to the gut. My grip on the pan tightened, and I scrubbed it harder, my throat constricting. "We broke up," I said quietly, not looking up.

Bobby frowned. "What?"

May chimed in. "What happened?"

I took a deep breath, my voice trembling slightly. "I was too much for him," I admitted. "I have my own stuff, and I guess it made it hard for him to talk to me. He got tired of struggling on his own," I paused, my voice dropping even lower. "Maybe I'm just self-centered."

The room went silent for a moment before Buck's fork clattered against his plate. "Lydia, you are not self-centered," he said firmly. "You're here, making breakfast for your family, taking care of everyone around you. A self-centered person wouldn't do that."

I shook my head, my jaw tightening. "It's different," I muttered. "I'm just not... girlfriend material."

May stepped closer, her expression serious. "You were girlfriend material for two years?" She challenged. "Come on, Lydia."

I shrugged, avoiding May's gaze. "I don't know," I muttered.

May placed a hand on my arm. "You need to talk to him," she said firmly.

I looked at her, skepticism written across her face. "What would I even say?" I asked. "Hey, sorry I was too focused on my self to help you with your struggles, but can we get back together?"

May gave me a stern look. "No. Just... talk. You two need to figure this out."

I sighed, the weight of the conversation settling heavy on my shoulders. Finally, I nodded. "Okay," I said softly. "I'll... talk to him."