desertion

125

LYDIA

The numbers on the screen blurred together as I stared at the rows of tuition amounts, each one more daunting than the last. I rubbed my temples, trying to focus, but the weight in my chest made it impossible. College wasn't even on my radar a few months ago, but now it felt like the only thing keeping me from completely spiraling. If I could focus on something-anything-maybe I could hold myself together.

My phone buzzed beside me, the sound breaking the silence of my room. I glanced at the screen. Dad.

I picked up without hesitation. "Hey, Dad."

"Lydia." His voice wasn't normal-it was tight, strained, like he was holding something back.

I straightened, my heart dropping into my stomach. "What's wrong?"

There was a pause, and in that silence, I felt the world tilt beneath me.

"It's Buck," Dad said finally, his voice cracking. "He was struck by lightning during a call. He's at the hospital."

The words hit me like a freight train. "What?" I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"They... they don't know much yet," Dad continued, struggling to keep his composure. "They're running tests. He's alive, but..." His voice faltered, and I could hear him take a shaky breath. "We don't know if he's going to make it."

My throat tightened, and for a second, I couldn't breathe. Buck. My Buck. The man who had been my rock when everything else in my life fell apart. The man who always made me laugh, even on my worst days. The man who was more family to me than some of the people who shared my blood.

"I'll be there in a minute," I said, my voice steadier than I felt.

"Drive safe," Dad said softly before I hung up.

I threw my phone onto the bed and grabbed my keys. My hands were shaking as I pulled on my jacket. When I stepped into the living room, Carla was sitting with Chris, who was engrossed in a video game.

"Lydia?" Carla called as I walked toward the front door.

"I'm going to the hospital," I said without stopping.

"Wait, what happened-"

I didn't answer. I couldn't. The door clicked shut behind me, and the cool night air hit me like a slap.

The drive to the hospital felt like a blur. Rain hammered against the windshield, the wipers struggling to keep up. My heart was racing, my mind replaying Dad's words over and over. Struck by lightning. They don't know if he'll survive.

By the time I pulled into the parking lot, the rain was coming down in sheets. I didn't bother with an umbrella-I didn't even own one. I sprinted across the lot, my sneakers splashing through puddles, my clothes quickly soaking through.

When I finally stepped inside, I was drenched. Water dripped from my hair onto the tiled floor as I made my way to the waiting area where I knew the 118 would be.

I spotted them immediately. Dad, Hen, Chimney, Bobby-all of them sitting in a tight cluster, their faces drawn with worry. No one was talking.

"Lydia," Dad said softly when he saw me.

I didn't respond. I walked over, my arms crossed tightly over my chest as I shivered. The air conditioning was brutal against my wet clothes. I sat down next to Dad, my teeth chattering, but I didn't care.

No one said a word, and they didn't have to. The silence said it all.

I stared down at my hands, my fingers trembling. My mind was racing, but every thought led to the same question: What if he doesn't make it?

"Do they know anything yet?" I finally asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Dad shook his head, his jaw tight. "Not yet. The doctors are still working on him."

I nodded, swallowing hard. I wanted to cry, to scream, to do anything to release the pressure building inside me, but I couldn't. I felt numb, like I was floating outside of my own body.

"Hey," Chimney said gently, leaning forward. "He's strong, Lydia. If anyone can get through this, it's Buck."

I nodded again, but I didn't believe him. Not really.

"I can't lose him," I whispered, my voice breaking.

Dad reached over, placing a hand on my knee. "You're not going to lose him," he said firmly, his voice steady despite the fear in his eyes. "Buck's too stubborn to let this beat him. He's going to pull through."

I bit my lip, tears stinging my eyes.

"I know you're scared," Dad continued, his voice softening. "I am too. But we have to stay positive. Buck needs us to stay positive."

I nodded, even though it felt impossible.

Bobby cleared his throat, breaking the silence. "He's our family, Lydia. We're not going to lose him."

His words were meant to be comforting, but they only made the knot in my chest tighten. I couldn't imagine a world without Buck in it. A world where his laugh didn't echo through our house, where his dumb jokes didn't make me roll my eyes, where his hugs didn't make everything feel okay.

I nodded, though the tears kept falling.

Hours passed, though they felt like days. No one left, no one spoke much. We just sat there, waiting for news, clinging to the hope that Buck would come back to us.

And as I sat there, shivering in my damp clothes, I realized something: Buck wasn't just family. He was the glue that held us all together. And without him, we'd all fall apart.

So he had to make it. He just had to.