desertion

65

LYDIA

The store was quiet and very non busy, but I barely noticed the soft conversation coming from my Dad and Ana as I stood in front of the mirror, smoothing out the fabric of the dress I picked. It was a deep blue, fitted at the waist with a flowing skirt that made me feel elegant, though I couldn't help but tug at the neckline to make sure it wasn't too low. I glanced toward the dressing rooms where Christopher was still trying on suits.

"Chris, how's it going in there?" Dad called, standing just outside the dressing room.

"Fine," came Chris's reply, though it was muffled and followed by a small grunt.

"Do you need help?" Dad asked, his tone patient.

There was a pause before Chris stepped out, wearing a dark grey suit that was slightly too big but still managed to make him look sharp. Eddie broke into a wide smile. "Look at you. You look great, Chris."

Chris frowned. "I think I look funny," he muttered, his cheeks turning pink.

"This is the third one, Chris." Dad said, crouching to meet his gaze.

"Let's ask Mom what she thinks!" The worker helping us said, gesturing toward Ana, who was standing nearby.

The air seemed to freeze. Ana's face paled, and she quickly corrected him. "Oh, no, no, I'm not—"

Ana cleared her throat, forcing a smile as she stepped closer to Dad. "Here," she said, holding out a tie she'd been looking at. "Try this one. I think it'll go great with your suit."

Dad took the tie with small nod and a strained smile.

But I saw it—it wasn't a real smile.

As Dad walked over to where I was standing near the mirror, I was about to say something to break the tension when, suddenly, everything changed.

"Dad?" I called as he staggered, his hand clutching the edge of a display for support. Before I could blink, he collapsed to the floor.

"Dad!" I rushed to his side, my heart pounding in my chest. Ana and Chris were right behind me, the store worker frantically calling for help. Dad was breathing heavily, his eyes wide and unfocused.

"Dad, you're okay," I said, my voice trembling. "Just breathe. You're okay."

********

The hospital room was quiet except for the beeping of monitors. Dad sat on the bed, looking annoyed more than anything, as the doctor explained what had happened.

"You had a panic attack," the doctor said gently.

"I don't panic," Dad countered, his tone firm.

I raised an eyebrow from where I sat in the corner of the room. "Uh, seems like you do, because you fell to the ground, breathing heavily, and, well... panicking."

The room fell silent. I immediately regretted my words, my face heating up as I realized how hard I might've sounded. But no one said anything, and for that, I was relieved.

"I'm fine," Dad said, turning his gaze to me.

I sighed, shaking my head as I sank further into my chair. "Sure, Dad. Whatever you say."

********

Back at home, I didn't linger. As soon as we walked through the door, I headed straight to my room, needing space to process everything that has happened in my life the past month. I flopped onto my bed, staring at the ceiling until my phone buzzed.

It was Miles.

I answered, holding the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hey," Miles said, his voice immediately concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked, though I had a feeling I knew the answer.

"Life360 notified me that you arrived at the hospital," Miles said.

I sighed, my fingers gripping the edge of my blanket. "It wasn't me. It was Dad. He had a panic attack, and we were just getting him checked out."

Miles's concern didn't waver. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah," I said, my voice softer. "They sent him home with some pamphlet about panic attacks or something. He's fine."

Miles chuckled lightly, but there was still a hint of worry in his tone. "And what about you? Are you okay?"

I hesitated before answering. I can't add to his worries, or anyone else's. Yes, I was awake in the waiting room, how could I sleep in those chairs? "I'm fine." I finally said, clearing my throat.

Miles didn't sound convinced, but he didn't push. "Okay. Have you been told when your first shift back is?"

"Tomorrow," I said, my voice decisive.

"What?" Miles sounded shocked. "Lyds, you just got out of the hospital like a week ago. You should be resting."

"I'm tired of resting," I said, my voice tinged with frustration. "I'm fine, Miles."

Miles sighed, but he relented. "Alright. But take it easy, okay?"

"I will." I promised.

"Love you," Miles said softly.

"Love you too," I replied, a small smile creeping onto my face.

After we said our goodbyes and hung up, I stared at my phone for a moment, my thoughts swirling. I was fine. I had to be.