desertion

157

LYDIA

The moment the new case file landed in front of us, a cold shiver crept down my spine. I don't know why I wasn't prepared for it. We had been handed murder cases before, but something about this one felt different. As Mason flipped the file open, I couldn't help but lean closer. Something about his posture was already tense, his jaw clenching as he read through the first few lines.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. I knew what this job entailed. The gruesome details, the horror of seeing humanity at its worst. I knew it. But that didn't make it easier.

"She was tortured," Mason said softly, his voice low and strained. I glanced at the page. The words blurred for a second before my vision cleared. The woman had been tortured before being murdered. I blinked, but the words remained in front of me. The cage, the chains, the handcuffs. They were the worst part.

There was a part of me that didn't want to know any more, that didn't want to read about it. But I had to. I had to do this. For the victim. For justice. She deserved it. The problem was, the more I read, the more my stomach twisted in on itself.

The woman had been held in a cage. A real cage. In a basement. Handcuffs hanging from the ceiling. I could almost feel them tightening around my own wrists, the image so vivid in my mind. I quickly shoved the file back down, my breath coming quicker now, faster than I could control.

My heart rate spiked. I couldn't breathe. My chest felt like it was being crushed under a weight I couldn't carry. The panic rose up like a tidal wave, hitting me before I could even realize it was happening.

"Mason..." I choked out, but the words barely made it past my lips. I pressed my hand to my mouth, hoping I could somehow silence the breathless sobs that were starting to build in my throat. The file. The details. The suffocating darkness of it all.

"Lydia," Mason's voice broke through, his tone gentler than I was expecting. He'd turned toward me, his eyes softening as he watched me struggle. But all I could see were the images from the file. The woman's terror. The chains. The cage.

"I'm fine," I tried to say, but it came out wrong. The words jumbled and broke apart before they even left me.

Mason's hands were on me then, firm but not forceful. His grip on my shoulders was steadying, grounding me in the chaos that was swirling around in my mind. He squeezed gently, his eyes meeting mine, but I couldn't find any words to say. He didn't ask questions-he didn't need to. He just breathed. In. Out. Slowly.

"Breathe with me, Lydia," Mason said, his voice soft but commanding.

I couldn't hear him completely. It was like my ears were filled with cotton, the pressure building behind my eyes, and all I could focus on was the way my chest was tightening.

He didn't let go. He didn't push me away. He stayed there, and his hands were warm against my skin, pulling me back from the edge. Slowly, I matched his breathing. In. Out. In. Out. A little at a time, I felt myself start to find the air again, to breathe more easily. The panic faded into the back of my mind, and I could finally focus on his face.

"You okay?" Mason asked quietly once the worst of it had passed. His voice was hesitant, like he was afraid of pushing too far.

I nodded quickly, biting my lip. "I... yeah. I'm okay."

But the truth was, I wasn't sure I was. Not completely. The case had rattled me in a way I didn't expect. It wasn't just the brutality, the sheer evil of it. It was the realization that this was what I signed up for. This was my life now. What had I been thinking when I dove headfirst into this career? Why was I reacting like this? It wasn't the first murder case I'd looked at, not by a long shot.

But maybe it was the first one that hit this hard.

Mason's eyes never left me as I collected myself, his hand still resting on my shoulder. His touch was steady, constant. "Are you sure you want to keep going with this?"

I looked up at him, surprised by the question. "What?"

"I won't make you," he said, his voice thick with concern. "If this case is too much..."

"It's not," I interrupted, shaking my head quickly. "I-I want to help. I can't walk away. She deserves justice, Mason. No matter how sickening this is, we can't back down."

Mason didn't argue, though I could see the hesitation in his eyes. He gave me a small nod, though it was clear he wasn't entirely convinced. But he didn't push me further. He just nodded again, and his hand remained on my shoulder, a quiet reminder that I wasn't alone in this.

"We're a team, right?" I said quietly, my voice gaining a little strength. I looked at him, meeting his gaze. He smiled then, the expression soft but genuine.

"Always."

I took a deep breath, forcing the weight of the case to settle in. We weren't backing down. We couldn't. And whatever it took, we would figure this out. I wasn't going to let myself become too weak to handle it. I had come this far.

"I'll handle it," I murmured, more to myself than to Mason.

"You don't have to do this alone," he replied, and his voice was a little softer this time. His grip on my shoulder tightened for a second before he finally pulled back.

We were in this together. We were partners, a team. And no matter what it took, we were going to get through it.

But right now, I had to push aside the dark thoughts swirling around in my mind. The panic was gone, but the weight of the case-the sickening images-was still there. I had to bury it. Bury it and focus.

The woman. She deserved justice. We were going to find the person who did this to her.

And I was going to make sure they paid.

"Let's get to work," I said, reaching for the file again. Mason didn't say a word, but I could feel his eyes on me, his quiet understanding that spoke volumes. We weren't alone. We were never alone in this.

And somehow, that made everything a little easier.