desertion

105

LYDIA

I pulled into Miles' driveway, my heart pounding harder with every second. I had no idea how this conversation was going to go, but I couldn't avoid it any longer. Nathaniel was right-I needed to talk to Miles. Things between us had been weird for too long, and I hated it.

I parked my car, gripping the steering wheel tightly as I tried to steady my breathing. You've got this, Lydia. Just go in and talk to him. It's Miles.

Still, my hands were shaking as I got out of the car and walked up to his front door. I knocked, the sound echoing louder than I expected in the quiet neighborhood.

It didn't take long for the door to open, and there he was-Miles, standing there in a t-shirt and sweatpants, his hair a little messy like he'd just woken up. His face dropped the moment he saw me, and for a second, I thought he might shut the door in my face.

"Hey," he said finally, his voice soft.

"Hey," I replied, giving him a small wave. "Can I come in?"

He hesitated for a moment before stepping aside. "Yeah, sure."

I walked in, the familiar scent of his house hitting me immediately. It smelled like him-warm and comforting, with a faint hint of cologne. I glanced at him as he closed the door behind me, his expression unreadable.

"So," Miles said, turning to face me. "Is this about Nate talking to you?"

I nodded, biting the inside of my cheek. "Kind of."

He raised an eyebrow, repeating, "Kind of?"

I couldn't help but laugh softly, feeling a little awkward under his gaze. "Okay, fine. I've been meaning to talk to you for a while now, but Nate kind of gave me the push I needed."

Miles crossed his arms, leaning against the wall as he watched me. "Alright," he said, his tone curious. "Talk."

I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. "Look, I know things got weird after the night of the dispatch fire. I said something I didn't mean to say, and I think it made things awkward between us. When I said I loved you while hanging up, it was just... a habit. I didn't mean to make things weird or uncomfortable for you."

Miles' expression changed immediately. He raised a hand, his face a mixture of disbelief and frustration. "Wait. Is that seriously what you think bothered me? That you said you loved me?"

I shrugged, unsure how to respond. "Maybe? I mean, it seemed like-"

"Lydia." He shook his head, cutting me off. "That's not what upset me. That's... that's all I wanted."

His words caught me off guard, and I stared at him, confused. "What?"

Miles sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I wanted things to go back to normal between us. I avoided you because I thought you didn't want to talk to me. I thought you were still mad at me for what happened."

"I'm not mad at you," I said quickly, shaking my head. "You had every right to break up with me, Miles."

"No, I didn't." His voice was firm, his eyes locking onto mine. "I should've just talked to you about how I was feeling instead of... letting you go like that. It was stupid. I was stupid."

I shrugged, a teasing smile tugging at my lips. "Mistakes are made."

Miles looked at me for a moment, his lips twitching into a small smile before he laughed softly. I laughed too, the sound easing some of the tension in the air.

Then he looked at me, really looked at me, and I could see the sincerity in his eyes. Before I could say anything, he stepped forward and pulled me into a hug.

I froze for half a second before melting into him, my arms wrapping around his waist as he held me close. He kissed the top of my head, his grip tightening like he was afraid I'd disappear if he let go.

I smiled softly against his chest, my eyes closing as I let myself relax in his arms.

This. This was the normalcy I needed. The comfort I'd been missing.

"I'm sorry," Miles murmured, his voice muffled in my hair.

I shook my head, pulling back just enough to look up at him. "Don't be. We're good now, okay?"

He nodded, his forehead resting against mine. "Yeah. We're good."

And for the first time in what felt like forever, I believed it.