The rookie Groupchat

Sassy Tim

Wade Grey: Bradford, I need you to explain why there's a complaint about you "aggressively organizing" someone's glove compartment during a traffic stop.

Tim Bradford: Define "aggressively."

Lucy Chen: Tim, what did you do?

Tim Bradford: I helped. I'm helpful. I'm a helpful person who helps people organize their disaster zones.

John Nolan: That sounds ominous.

Tim Bradford: Look, if you're going to hand me registration from a glove compartment that looks like it was hit by a tornado, I'm going to fix it.

Angela Lopez: Fix it how?

Tim Bradford: I may have... reorganized it. Alphabetically. By date. With labels.

Aaron Thorsen: You LABELED someone's glove compartment?

Tim Bradford: I had a label maker in my patrol bag. Sue me.

Celina Juarez: Why do you have a label maker in your patrol bag?

Tim Bradford: Because some of us believe in organization and efficiency, Celina.

Lucy Chen: Tim, you can't just reorganize people's cars without permission.

Tim Bradford: Oh, I'm sorry. Next time I'll just let chaos reign supreme. My apologies for bringing order to the universe.

Nyla Harper: Someone's in a mood today.

Tim Bradford: I'm not in a mood. I'm in a state of perpetual disappointment with humanity's organizational skills.

Wade Grey: Tim, how long did this traffic stop take?

Tim Bradford: Twenty-three minutes.

John Nolan: For a basic traffic stop?

Tim Bradford: It would have been five minutes if Lucy hadn't decided to "help."

Lucy Chen: I was being supportive!

Tim Bradford: You spent fifteen minutes chatting with the driver about her cat.

Lucy Chen: Mr. Whiskers had surgery! I was being compassionate!

Tim Bradford: Meanwhile, I'm color-coding her insurance papers by year because apparently that's what my life has become.

Angela Lopez: You color-coded them?

Tim Bradford: Chronologically. It's called a system, Angela. Look it up.

Aaron Thorsen: What did the driver say when you handed everything back?

Tim Bradford: She cried.

Celina Juarez: You made her cry?

Tim Bradford: Tears of joy, allegedly. She said her glove compartment had "never looked so beautiful."

Lucy Chen: See? You helped!

Tim Bradford: I didn't help. I enabled. There's a difference.

John Nolan: How is organizing someone's car enabling?

Tim Bradford: Because now she's going to expect every police officer to reorganize her stuff. We've set a precedent.