The rookie Groupchat

Sassy Lucy Pt 4

Aaron Thorsen: Morning everyone! Quick question - is Lucy in sweet mode or sassy mode today? Need to know how to approach her about my report.

Angela Lopez: Why don't you just ask her yourself?

Aaron Thorsen: Because I value my life.

Lucy Chen: Aaron, your report looks like it was written by a caffeinated hamster having an existential crisis.

Nyla Harper: Here we go again.

Aaron Thorsen: Lucy, I—

Lucy Chen: No. Stop. Whatever excuse you're about to give me, I don't want to hear it. Rewrite it. Use actual sentences this time.

Celina Juarez: Uh oh. Someone didn't get their coffee.

Lucy Chen: Someone didn't get ANY SLEEP because someone had to work a double shift covering for Martinez who decided to call in "sick" with a hangover.

Wade Grey: Chen, you've been here for 20 hours?

Lucy Chen: 20 hours, 15 minutes, and 32 seconds. But who's counting?

John Nolan: Maybe you should go home and rest?

Lucy Chen: Maybe you should mind your own business, Nolan.

Angela Lopez: Aren't you gonna say you're proud again, Bradford?

Tim Bradford: ...

Aaron Thorsen: Tim?

Tim Bradford: I make no comments.

Nyla Harper: Tim Bradford has no comments? Alert the media.

Lucy Chen: That's right, Bradford. Stay quiet. Smart man.

Celina Juarez: Did Lucy just... intimidate Tim into silence?

Lucy Chen: I didn't intimidate anyone. I simply established that today is not the day to test me.

Tim Bradford: Chen, maybe you should—

Lucy Chen: Should what, Tim? Go home? Rest? Have a spa day? I'd LOVE to do that, but see, some of us have to actually work when other people can't handle their alcohol.

Tim Bradford: I was going to say get some coffee.

Lucy Chen: Oh. Well. That's... actually helpful. Thank you.

Wade Grey: I'll get you a coffee, Chen.

Lucy Chen: Make it a triple shot. With extra everything. I need to achieve a level of caffeination that defies physics.

John Nolan: Are you sure that's safe?

Lucy Chen: Nolan, I'm running on spite, determination, and whatever energy drink I found in the break room at 3 AM. Safe sailed away hours ago.

Angela Lopez: What energy drink?

Lucy Chen: I don't know. It was green. Tasted like regret and poor life choices.

Aaron Thorsen: That was probably expired.

Lucy Chen: At this point, Aaron, expired energy drinks are the least of my problems. YOUR REPORT is the least of my problems. Everyone's incompetence is the least of my problems.