The rookie Groupchat

The Coffee Shop Incident

Wade Grey:
Why am I getting reports that my officers were involved in an "incident" at the coffee shop down the street?

Aaron Thorsen:
Define "incident."

Wade Grey:
The manager called and asked if we were going to pay for the damage.

Celina Juarez:
Okay, but in our defense—

John Nolan:
NO ONE DEFEND ANYTHING. JUST EXPLAIN.

Angela Lopez:
I just got here. What did you all do??

Nyla Harper:
I swear, I take one day off—

Lucy Chen:
Let me start by saying it was not my fault.

Tim Bradford:
I'd argue that point.

Lucy Chen:
EXCUSE ME??

Celina Juarez:
OKAY. HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.

Aaron Thorsen:
I feel like she's about to lie.

Celina Juarez:
RUDE.

Celina Juarez:
So we were at the coffee shop, right? Just a normal day. Lucy got her usual drink, Tim got black coffee like the soulless man he is—

Tim Bradford:
Stop attacking me and get to the point.

Celina Juarez:
Anyway. Lucy went to grab some napkins, and some random guy took her drink off the counter.

Lucy Chen:
He DIDN'T EVEN HESITATE. Just snatched it!

Aaron Thorsen:
To be fair, it was a complicated order. He might have thought it was his.

Lucy Chen:
Did HIS order have oat milk, extra caramel drizzle, whipped cream, and cinnamon on top??

Tim Bradford:
I would like to state for the record that this is the most ridiculous drink order I have ever seen.

Bailey Nune:
EXCUSE YOU. That sounds AMAZING.

Lucy Chen:
Thank you, Bailey.

Wade Grey:
We are so far off track. Continue.

Celina Juarez:
Right. So Lucy, being Lucy, nicely went up to the guy and told him it was actually her drink.

Angela Lopez:
Let me guess. He didn't take it well?

Lucy Chen:
HE CALLED ME A LIAR!

Bailey Nune:
OH NO HE DIDN'T.

Aaron Thorsen:
And then Tim stepped in.

Tim Bradford:
Of course I stepped in.

John Nolan:
Tim, what did you do?

Celina Juarez:
Oh, he just loomed over the guy like a horror movie villain and went, "Give her the drink. Now."

Angela Lopez:
And?

Celina Juarez:
And the guy panicked, threw the drink in the air, and ran.

Nyla Harper:
WAIT.

Bailey Nune:
THE DRINK??

Lucy Chen:
It. Landed. On. Tim.

John Nolan:
I AM SCREAMING.

Aaron Thorsen:
I HAVE NEVER SEEN TIM BRADFORD LOOK SO BETRAYED IN MY LIFE.

Lucy Chen:
HE JUST STOOD THERE. COVERED IN MY DRINK. PROCESSING HIS LIFE CHOICES.

Tim Bradford:
I hate all of you.

Angela Lopez:
Oh my god, I wish I was there.

Celina Juarez:
The best part?

Bailey Nune:
THERE'S MORE???

Celina Juarez:
Lucy, being the absolute menace that she is, took ONE LOOK at him and said—

Lucy Chen:
...I said, "At least now you have some flavor."

John Nolan:
I'M DEAD.

Aaron Thorsen:
TIM'S SOUL LEFT HIS BODY.

Tim Bradford:
I AM NEVER TAKING YOU ANYWHERE AGAIN.

Bailey Nune:
Please tell me there's video.

Celina Juarez:
Oh, there's video.

Lucy Chen:
NO.

Aaron Thorsen:
Uploading to the group chat now.

Tim Bradford:
I swear to everything, if that video gets out—

Angela Lopez:
Too late.

Nyla Harper:
I just watched it. Beautiful.

Bailey Nune:
OH MY GOD. TIM'S FACE.

Wade Grey:
So to summarize: Lucy got her drink stolen, Tim tried to intimidate the guy, the guy panicked, threw the drink on Tim, and Lucy made fun of him for it.

Lucy Chen:
Correct.

Wade Grey:
...I hate this job.

Celina Juarez:
Not as much as Tim hates caramel drizzle.

Tim Bradford:
I QUIT.