Rajas : Passion Unveiled

Chapter 77

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( Warning - content of self harm )

Ayansh's POV

Flashback

I saw the bathroom floor. My eyes were fixated on the red water swirling at the drain. Water mixed with that man's blood. I have no idea how long I have been standing under the shower. 

Minutes? Hours?

My eyes flicked to the counter and my gaze landed on the small bottles of products arranged neatly in the corner. Isha's products. My wife's belongings.

I don't know if the trail of water down my cheeks is from the shower or my shattered heart. I place my hand on the wall before me. I blink. It's shaking. My arm is shaking. My body is shaking. The gravity of the events hits me suddenly, making me stumble and lose my breath. My wife was attacked. My Isha was attacked. I couldn't protect her. I failed her. I failed her.

"I failed her", my broken rasp echoed in the bathroom. I wronged her. I should've reached her sooner. She's hurt. My Isha is hurt. My Jaan is hurt. Pain. She is in pain. 

Images of her bruised and battered body flash through my mind. My nails scratch the tiled wall as I try to stop the shaking. My chest heaves with rapid breaths. My ears start ringing and a weird tingling sensation erupts at my fingertips and toes. I bend over as I try to breathe. 

Steam fills the bathroom from the hot water of the shower scalding on my back. I hiss at the sharp heat. My fist hits the wall hard as a dull ache starts forming at my temple. Agony. This is pure agony. A sob breaks out of me. The sound so guttural and hoarse, it bounces off the walls and rakes on my ears.

Injured. My Isha was injured. Lying in the hospital with machines hooked to her. Another sob tumbled out. I should be the one there. It should've been me. God why isn't it me?! I failed to protect her. The vines of guilt squeeze my heart making it wail in blood.

Ansh

Her broken voice echoed in my mind.

I don't want to die

Ansh

A hoarse sob escapes my lips as I shut off the shower. I inhale and exhale slowly, trying to breathe. My breath got stuck as that horrifying thought struck me.

What if she doesn't wake up? What if she-?

My chest rises and falls in panicked breaths. My eyes widen, my vision blurs as more tears form. What if she never wakes up? What if she never calls my name? Smiles at me? What if she-?

"No", I gasp. If she dies, then what right do I have to live? Afterall, this all started with me. I am the center of all this nuisance. What right do I have to live? None. I don't have the right to live. I should die. Death is what I am worth. I should die...