Freaks: Year Two

Two Backs Against The Door

Implied child abuse.

"I think there is something wrong with me."

Jasper started to stir.

"But I don't want there to be."

Jasper's eyes blinked open and he saw the hallway ceiling and he realised he had fallen asleep outside Toby's bedroom door. He slowly sat up, wincing, a crook in his neck, and he rubbed his eyes trying to comprehend what he was hearing.

"So, shut up about it."

Jasper's eyebrow furrowed when he realised whose voice it was. "Toby? Who are you talking to?"

There was a brief silence.

"Jasper?" Toby asked and Jasper noticed he sounded almost surprised. "You're there?"

"Yeah, I have been all night," Jasper answered, rubbing the back of his neck with a groan. "Who...who are you talking to?"

Toby was quiet once again.

Jasper sighed. "Look, I know you don't want to talk to me. I just...I am just worried about you and I know you're probably upset that I said that, but all I want for you is what is best. The best I can give and that's my support right now. I know letters are inconvenient. I know they are, and that's why I am trying to get a spell or some sort of device that can sort of work like a telephone. I know it still isn't great, but...I do want to talk to you guys. I haven't told you this – I don't think I have anyway, but I am working on creating my own spell that will work as a sort of shield around you guys. So you won't get hurt. I'd hate to constantly leave you guys over and over and have no improvement except for the summers. I am working on it to be hopefully finished by the end of the year, but spells...they are really hard to create. I think it is ridiculous that there is no spell that can do what I want, but that's why I need to create it. Somehow and I won't stop until I get it."

"I know this year has been really hard for you," Jasper continued. "I can't say that I know what you're going through because you're right. I haven't been here. So, how can I know? But I will always be here to listen to you about anything. I really don't want to argue with you all the time. What happened yesterday...well, it was horrible and I feel terrible about it and I am so sorry. I was just so upset and I took it out on you. I miss the way things used to be," Jasper admitted. "But I know things have changed now. I understand that things can't go back to what they used to be, but...that doesn't mean the future has to be something negative. Just because things have changed doesn't mean it has to affect us for the worst. We miss you. I want you to know that."

Jasper waited for an answer, hoping that Toby would say something. Anything.

"You...miss me?"

"Yeah," Jasper said. "We do. We all do. Trust me. They are always asking about you. They've noticed that you've changed a little and...they miss you."

"So, they miss who I used to be?" Toby asked, his voice biter. "You miss the old me?"

Jasper felt horrible for thinking it, but he did. He really did miss who Toby used to be. It wasn't like he was blaming him for it, but wasn't he allowed to miss when he was happier? When he got excited about things? When he wasn't constantly overworking himself? When he wasn't shutting himself out from others? Shutting out his brothers? Was it so wrong to miss that?

"They miss you being around," Jasper said, thinking it was best to only say that because he wasn't lying. He missed his brother being around. He missed talking to him. He missed hanging out with him. Now it seemed like there was just an extra body in the house going through the motions. Not talking. Not smiling. Not even living.