One Big Mistake

Ch-11 Making Ammends

A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.
~John C. Maxwell

The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming.
~Romans 8:18

"Aw look at my nieces." Paisley placed her hands on my bump and cooed.

"They might be boys." I informed her in a sort of monotone voice. Today has been a bad day and it's only going to get worse when I go to church and everybody finds out I'm pregnant. It's not like I'm making a big announcement, but I am wearing a dress with a belt that accentuates my round bump. I might as well get all of the judging over with while I'm still down in the dumps.

"They're girls because auntie said so." Paisley is way to excited about this. I wish I could be half as happy as her, but eventually I'll find my own joy in this. She reached up and pulled her ponytail of ringlets tighter.

I rested my hand on my bump and walked towards the doorway, switching off the lights. Paisley followed eagerly. She doesn't understand the extremity of this. She just thinks that everything's fine and dandy, which is okay I guess. It just irritates me because I know that things are the complete opposite at the moment.

"Let's go get in the car or we're going to be late." I walked down the stairs trying to keep my posture straight since my back hurts whenever I lean forwards or back.

I am not looking forward to sitting through service with lower back pain like this. The car ride was bad enough. Once we got to church, everybody piled out of the car. Usually my mom would tell the younger ones to behave and they'll get desert tonight, but of course she just looked at my stomach and turned away before starting towards the church entrance. It's been thirteen days, how can anybody go that long without talking to their daughter. My mom has never been selfish, she would give the shirt off her back to a stranger in need, but not talking to me and acting like she's the one with all of the problems, that's selfish.

"Are you coming?" Jesse asked me. Here goes nothing. I stepped from behind the car and followed my family in tow, secretly hoping nobody noticed, but how could they not? Plus I think everybody knows that I should be at college right now.

"Jessalynn dear..." Carly rushed up beside me. I turned my attention to her since it seems urgent. "You should really cover that up." She looked to both directions of us.

"Carly, I'm doing what I'd like. Don't worry, I won't ruin Cole's reputation just yet." I gave her hand a squeeze and smiled assuringly.

She sighed. Carly is a nice lady, but she wants me to keep the fact that Cole is the father of my unborn babies a secret that way she won't look bad and that I'm not doing. Sure I'm not going to go blabbering around that he is the father, but it's not like I can hide it forever. "That's your decision to make I guess." She sounded slightly defeated and irritated. I patted her hand one last time, glad she didn't give me any more trouble on that topic. I left her presence and resumed following my family up the stairs into the church.

"Morning Jessalynn." Belle greeted me politely. She looked down at my belly and her face changed from the sweet expression she always wears, but soon her sweet face was apparent again. "Is there a new addition coming in the family?" She tried to hide her judgement. I know it's not her fault, I would likely judge no matter how hard I tried not to also. It's in our human nature.

"Oh yes. This February." I rubbed my stomach and yawned. "Mistake or not, I'll love 'em the same." I smiled. I threw in the last part that way she wasn't totally lost. Of course she knew I didn't get married in such a short amount of time.