One Big Mistake

Ch-56 Girl's Day

One Month Later

My belly has grown so much in the last month and I'm finally adopting that feeling of impatience while waiting for my daughter to be born. It's been a miserable pregnancy especially since I've been on "bedrest" for the last month. It wasn't like I laid in bed all day, everyday, but I have been taking more rests and doing a lot of tasks while sitting and resting.

The boys and I are also in the process of moving. This house is just a reminder of a lot of things for me and I feel like I need a clean break from Cole. He's obviously still around because of the boys and our daughter but I needed to move into a place that was entirely my own. Not to mention the rent is cheaper at our new place.

It's an apartment in town. It is only a two minute walk from the store so that will be convenient. It even has a park and pool so I'm sure the boys and I will enjoy that. The apartment itself isn't any bigger in fact it is a bit smaller but it will due for awhile.

I still do not know where Cole is staying. We don't communicate on a regular basis. Usually I don't even know when he is stopping by to see the boys, typically once a day if not then once every other day. Sometimes he'll take them to the park or store with him. A lot has changed between us, we don't talk unless it has to do with the babies. We lost our familiarity with each other.

He told me that he already purchased his one way ticket to Texas for a week after baby girls due date so hopefully she'll be born on time. I've come to understand why he's going but for the most part the reasons are selfish. He should not be leaving me alone with a newborn and two toddlers a week after I give birth. Nor should he deny his daughter the opportunity to bond with him. Not to mention the boys will have no idea where their dad went.

Hopefully we will all get something positive out of this and Cole will heal as a human being. However I do not think he will ever move back to Mill Creek or anywhere near it. I know how much he despises this town. Therefore our children will most likely never have their parents living in the same state again. That just devastates me but I don't think there is much I can do to change it.

Tomorrow the boys and I are driving down to see Hannah. I asked Cole if he would keep the twins for the day and I'd be back home that night but he told me he is working that day. So now Jaxon and Josiah are accompanying me which is fine. I was just hoping I would get a little bit of a break.

I think Cole has a new girlfriend. I can't really put my finger on why I think that. One particular instance was we were talking on the phone for about 15 minutes about the boys and such and a few different times during the conversation I heard a female voice in the background.

I still hurt a lot over Cole even though I know that I should not. If he has another girlfriend that is going to sting even more. I put so much into our relationship and constantly being ignored and disregarded took a huge toll on me. Now it's all over though and I've been trying my damned hardest to forget about any relationship we ever had besides having mutual children.

The day the boys and I are going to Hannah's rolled around and I have to say I've been pretty excited to get out of town. I woke up around 7 in the morning in a good mood. Baby girl let me sleep through the night. I took a shower and decided on wearing a black maxi dress. The weather is starting to warm up which of course means cuter clothes.

Contrary to my first pregnancy I do not feel overly large and unattractive. However I don't feel small or cute either. I'm at a weird in between. Don't get me wrong, my belly is still large enough to give me swollen ankles and back aches but it is still not as large as when I was pregnant with the boys, probably due to the fact that they are twins.

I heard the boys playing in their cribs while I was doing the few dishes in the sink. I turned off the faucet and walked down the hallway peeking my head in the doorway seeing the boys staring at each other, babbling. Jaxon spotted me and used the crib side to pull himself up.