One Big Mistake

Ch-38 Trouble

I had thought long and hard about that day I slapped Cole and as much as I believed he truly deserved it, I knew I shouldn't have done it. It is sort of like the devil and angel conscience that sit on your shoulders.

"That asshole deserved it, don't apologize," Lucifer would whisper and I'd agree.

"Violence is never the answer Jessalynn, you need to apologize," the angel dressed in white and a halo would say convincingly and I'd agree again. It was like a constant fight between the good and the bad. Both points were agreeable and arguable.

I know however, in order to help myself not be stuck with this decision for days on end, I should just chose one, the right one. And I suppose the right choice is to apologize because like my conscience had told me several times, 'violence is never the answer'.

I have already put it off for three days which is two days longer than I'd promised my aunt Bev I would. So today when I go over to his house to bring the boys, I will put on my big girl panties, put my ego away and apologize like I should have sooner.

My conscience also told me that I deserved an apology as well but I knew better than to expect that from Cole. So I'll be the bigger person, like I feel like I have had to be since I became pregnant. It is the right thing to do.

I am in the middle of dressing the boys right now in matching outfits. They are finally able to fit in newborn clothes and Jaxon is still a few ounces heavier than his brother but it's hard to tell except that his cheeks are just a bit chubbier.

Their outfits are onesies that Hannah had bought me because she thought they were cute and funny. They say 'Drinking Buddies' and have pictures of bottles on them. They are definitely really cute and I'm glad they fit in them now. Carly will get a kick out of them.

And of course it is the beginning of February which means cold weather so I put little pants on them, socks and beanies to keep them warm.

As for myself I'm in a pair of sweats, a sweater and my hair is in a floppy bun. It seems I never have time for myself taking care of two newborns but I'd rather have well dressed, clean babies than poorly clothed babies and I look like I'm ready to walk the runway. It's a mom thing.

I still have to drive my mom's car around because my truck does not have a backseat which is highly disappointing because I love my old Ford. Not only is that a bummer but it is becoming an issue that I do not have my own vehicle.

Seriously, how do teen moms do it?

How am I supposed to work and care for two babies? It seems impossible unless I want somebody else caring for my sons most of the time, which I do not because I am in that phase where I cannot leave anywhere without my babies.

I reached down, gently tickling Josiah's tummy as he stared at me in wonder. "Mommy loves you," I smiled at the boys as I kissed their cheeks several times. I slipped their socks on and glanced at them, noticing they were both staring at each other.

I smiled as I watched them study each other. It is by far one of my favorite things when they just stare at each other. I love the little bond they already share. It is so sweet!

Then Jaxon sneezed on his brother making Josiah wince. "Bless you," I said in a cheery baby voice as I lifted up the sneezer and placed him in his blue carrier.

I did the same to Josiah and loaded them in the car all by myself which took heaps of effort and energy to carry their heavy carriers down the stairs.