One Big Mistake

Ch-37 Slowly Drifting

"Thanks for picking us up," I thanked Cole as we strapped the babies into the backseat of his truck.

"Yeah," he mumbled and climbed in the drivers seat, out of the rain. Today is the appointment for the paternity test in Dakota where they will just get simple swabs. Then when I get home my aunts, uncles and cousins should be there to meet the boys for the first time and Cole as well.

He is angry at me for getting this test done and he thinks I want the paternity test because I'm not sure who the father is. I just let him think that because I wasn't in the mood to argue.

"My mom wants to have a little get together of her own at the house so her side of the family can meet Josiah and Jaxon," Cole said after twenty minutes of silence besides the small breathing noises coming from the backseat.

"That sounds fun. I haven't got to meet any of your family," I tried to add some cheer to the conversation by sounding enthusiastic. He didn't say anything back, instead he wore an irritated expression as he stared at the road. "Cole I'm sorry if wanting this test angers you," I started.

"Well it does anger me. And no I don't think you're sorry or even care because if you did we wouldn't be driving an hour away for the lab results to say exactly what we already know," he ranted and gripped the steering wheel tightly.

"I understand why you're mad, now can you at least attempt to understand where I'm coming from?" I asked, looking over at him. "You know how many times during my pregnancy you just walked out or never called? Sure that hurt me but I'm not worried about myself anymore. I'm worried about our sons. I don't want them to have a father that leaves them wondering where he went or if it's there fault that their dad didn't come see them. I want to eliminate the reasons for you to leave," I explained, hoping that made him understand why I want this test.

"I'm not going to leave," he spoke through clenched teeth. I want to believe him but I just can't bring myself to.

Josiah started to fuss in the backseat so I reached my arm back there and slipped the pacifier back in his mouth since there wasn't much else I could do at the moment.

"What is it going to take for you to trust me?" He asked and I took a deep breath and shrugged.

"Time I guess," I mumbled and pulled my cardigan around my body, turning up the heater.

"I don't like feeling like I'm being controlled by a little girl. You control when and where I can see my sons and you get to say if I'm being a bad father," he obviously was getting pissed as his knuckles turned white at how tight he gripped the steering wheel.

"Little girl?" I laughed dryly and leaned against the chilled window as the car finally heated up. "Well guess what Cole you had sex with this little girl and you got this little girl pregnant," I rolled my eyes and looked anywhere but at him.

"I've never fucking regretted anything more in my life," he spat and my breathing halted as I looked over at him to see if he was serious.

"How could you say that? Do you not love your sons?" I teared up as I looked back at the two carseats placed in the back. He didn't answer me as we pulled into the small clinic's parking lot. "I wish that another man's name would show up on the results sheet because anybody is better than trying to parent with an asshole like you," I wiped the salty tears from beneath my eyes and climbed out of the truck.

"You might just get your wish. Who knows what you were out doing? You were so quick to get in my bed. How could I be so sure that you wouldn't be just as quick to crawl in any things bed that has a penis," he implied I was a slut. Fuck no! He made that accusation one too many times. So much for making progress and not having big blow out fights.