One Big Mistake

Ch- 49 It's a...

Two months later

"It's the big day," I said groggily as I rolled over and put my hand on Cole's chest. He yawned and wrapped his arm around me.

One of the boys started to cry and I slipped out of Cole's grasp and went into their bedroom, which is my old room. I moved into Cole's bedroom because we are officially a thing and it's working out really well.

"Hi Siah," I smiled at my boy who is holding onto the side of his crib while screaming. Jaxon is sitting up with his pacifier in his mouth while looking at me all wide eyed. "Hi my handsome," I kissed Jaxon's head and carried both of the boys to the dining room before putting them in their high chairs.

"Are you guys going to have a baby sister or a baby brother?" I asked them and they bounced around happily when they saw that I had their food. I got two baby spoons out and fed them their breakfast.

Cole came out of the bathroom, showered and ready for the day. He came up behind me and kissed my neck. I smiled as he placed his hands on my belly. "You know the baby only kicks when you're around?" I told him and moved his hand to where it is kicking the strongest. "That's why I'm going to make you start sleeping on the couch," I teased before handing off the food to Cole quickly and rushing to the bathroom.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and took a deep breath after spending minutes puking. I discussed the symptoms I'm having with my doctor and she diagnosed me with severe morning sickness and it has been hell. I've spent hours beside the toilet and drank so much water to stay hydrated. Sometimes I just lay in bed because I can't handle the nausea.

I stood up and looked in the mirror at my pale face. I look horrible. I took a quick shower and put on my makeup to hide the way I feel. I always try to be happy for the boys but this pregnancy is kicking my butt.

"I think it's a boy," Cole said as he passed me.

"I hope not," I mumbled and made myself something to eat. I want it to be a girl so I never have to have children again. But at least if it was to be a boy we would have everything the little guy needed.

"No Josiah. No. Put that down," I told him sternly when he reached for a glass coaster I have on the table. He looked at me like he was innocent but then he turned back around and reached for it again. "No," I said again and he fell to his butt and started crying. I picked him up and comforted him because I hate seeing my babies cry.

I put the boys in their little, gated area with their toys. Then I went into the bedroom to sit down for a few minutes since I can already feel the nasty nauseous feeling coming back.

I started crying and laid on the bed trying not to put myself in a bad mood for today. Today is supposed to be good.

"Why are you crying?" Cole asked as he walked in the room.

"I'm not," I said as I sat up and wiped my eyes.

"Jess, I know you were crying. Aren't you happy?" He questioned as he sat down beside me and pulled me close to him.

"Yeah- of course I am," I said what I was supposed to say. I love being a mom to the twins and I'm still trying to love the fact that I'm going to be a mom of three by nineteen. I just don't love my life. I feel so under accomplished in life and like I fell into the trap of this small town. I want to do bigger and better things and sometimes I get myself down when I think that I won't be able to do those things. Instead I'm limited to this mediocre life no matter how hard I try.

"Good," he kissed my temple and then ran his hand up my thigh.

"No," I yelled and he retreated his hand and held it up in surrender.