Lightning Bolt

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

THERE REALLY ARE,

 PLACES IN THE HEART,

 YOU DON'T KNOW EXIST,

 UNTIL YOU LOVE A CHILD

Matt didn't want to return to work; he wanted to stay here with "us". 

This was how he saw me now, not just one unit but two. When he said hello, he would address us both, his lips planting on my belly and mouth. One for each. He wouldn't ask how I was feeling; he would ask how we were feeling?

On the nights when he was home, he would hold me in his arms like he always had in the past but now his hands would be lightly resting on my lower abdomen protecting the little one inside. There were no words for how we both felt but we saw it mirrored in each other's eyes, sparkling bright in the depths of our irises.

Since the news of our pregnancy Matt's outlook changed dramatically. Work for him now was almost a burden. He hated it more than ever to be away from me, from us.

In the end we advised a plan.

Matt would stay with the same company working away until our baby was born. By this time we calculated that we would have enough savings to put down a small deposit for our new family home.

I knew it wasn't what he wanted. He had been saving for the big house by the sea, our dream home. But everything was different now and we would have to settle for what we could afford.

I knew the days without him would be long and I would still miss him like crazy but with this plan in mind I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. The loneliness I had felt for so long was starting to slowly subside. I had a part of him with me now, growing inside me.

When we got our confirmation and had seen the midwife we started to tell people our wonderful news. It was the most amazing feeling to share with people. Their faces lit up and everyone was thrilled for us. We were riding a great high, one I never wanted to end. It felt like all the birds were singing in the clear blue skies above with not a single cloud in sight. We had never been happier.

I had been bleeding a little recently though, a show of red every now and again smeared in my knickers. But I wasn't overly worried, these things happened.

I remember Lucie ringing the midwife when she was pregnant with Charlie, scared of the blood but nothing had transpired from it. Also, my Mum didn't even know she was pregnant with me, until she was sixteen weeks gone. She still had her periods.

I didn't want to worry everyone and make a fuss and my first scan was in three weeks.

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I fell into my pregnancy like a duck to water. I loved the way it made you feel. How your body started changing to make way for your baby. Together Matt and I nurtured our little one inside of me.

We would sit singing and talking to our new addition, stroking my belly. Matt even played his guitar, humming along to melodies. We talked of all our plans we were making for them for the future. How we would take them to the beach, push them on swings, hold them, love them and cherish them every single day of their lives.

Kate and Rob were ecstatic over the news. When we had gone to see them the following weekend, Rob shook Matt's hand.