Lightning Bolt

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

STAY WITH ME

The next day I kissed Matt goodbye as he went away to his job in Nottingham for two weeks and for some reason as the door closed behind him I collapsed on the sofa and wept. I couldn't seem to stop the tears coming thick and fast, my chest heaving with an overwhelming feeling of being homesick and very alone which was ridiculous! I was in my own home and Sophie was here with me.

I tried to pull myself together while I got ready for work but even there I couldn't shake off the unsettling feeling. I was miserable and highly emotional. I put it down to a surge of hormones. Nothing was wrong, in fact life couldn't be any better but as the day dragged on my mood grew worse and soon I started to feel extremely tired like never before.

Benson went to walk past but instead stopped by my desk.

"Thee, are you ok? You don't look your beaming self?" he asked.

I nodded fighting back the tears.

What was wrong with me?

"I'm just a bit hormonal" I tried a smile.

He knelt down beside me bringing his face to eye level.

"You're sure that's all it is?" his voice full of concern.

"Huh, Huh" I nodded keeping control of my wayward emotions. I didn't want to break down in front of Benson.

I watched as he scanned the area. Everyone was busy, heads down at their computers, or phones to their ears except for Jodie's desk which was vacant due to her surprise mini break to Paris her boyfriend had organised for her.

The touch of Benson's hand stroking my arm brought me back round.

"Look. Why don't you get yourself off for the day?"

I felt the sudden relief wash over me knowing I could escape, go home and curl up in my overwhelming hormonal bubble and hopefully get some much needed sleep. I swear I had never felt so tired. Even in the beginning of my pregnancy the fatigue hadn't crushed me like it was doing now.

"Are you sure?" I asked. 

He smiled warmly "Go on hormonal lady. We can cope here."

**********

I fell into bed cuddling Matt's pillow taking in his scent he had left behind.

I missed him so much!

I craved his embrace and magical touch. His strong hands I knew would ease my aching back in an instant. That dull ache was there again and I couldn't get comfortable no matter which way I laid. I closed my eyes dreaming of being in Matt's arms eventually falling into a deep slumber.