Lightning Bolt

CHAPTER THIRTY NINE

MATT'S POV

THE WORST THING ABOUT BEING LIED TO,

IS KNOWING YOU WEREN'T WORTH,

THE TRUTH

I stood outside the apartment not knowing where to go or what to do. My tears flowed from my eyes, my heart in ruin. I couldn't stop the images of Thea with him, a cancer now set in my mind.

I started running, flying past people on the street almost knocking into them. I was trying desperately to run away from my emotions, from this unbearable feeling inside of me.

Thea had actually slept with him! He had been inside her! He had taken my love away from me. I had been unable to keep her head from being turned.

"Ahhh" I screamed out in agonising pain as I reached the beach.

 I ran onto the pebbles, my feet sliding trying to get some form of grip until finally I collapsed in a heap at the place we called 'ours'. The place I had first kissed her soft lips. Where the moonlight bathed her beauty. Where we had spent so many summer afternoons in each other's arms. The special place we held onto Sophie's memory, our daughter.

 I sat and cried like a little boy, lost and all alone. My body hunched forward gasping for breath and self-control but I had lost everything.

What had she done? Why? Why had she opened up to him, lied to me and slept with him? 

 She had always promised me she wasn't like that, making me believe in her, trusting her, giving my all too only her and she had just thrown it all away on him. HIM!!!                                         

I couldn't breathe, a panic in my chest rising.

Did she love him? Christ was she about to go to him now to seek comfort in his arms? 

More fresh tears sprang from my eyes.

I wanted to kill him! To hunt him down and tear his fucking heart out like he had done to me but I didn't know where to find him. It was the weekend and I had no clue whereabouts he lived.

My body began trembling as the violent anger grew. Thea's words repeating over and over again torturing me, making me bleed internally.

"I slept with someone else... They weren't there I had gone for a drink with only him... I started drinking it, drinking too much then it all came out, about Sophie and us...

I felt myself falling with each revelation my mind regurgitated, sinking into quick sand as I tried to find some sense of it all but I was dying a slow horrible death, my soul withering away to dust.

The simple truth was she had betrayed me, had taken my heart and ripped it apart. She gave herself fully to that man, the man I despised. The man I was going to kill!

**********

I started walking around aimlessly feeling numb to the world watching as it passed me by. Couples holding hands, families spending time together, joggers racing, children laughing.

My heart was bleeding, my head was in bits but no one could see. Everyone around me was oblivious of the immense pain I was suffering. I didn't know where to go or what the hell to do. If I went to Kate's then I would have to reveal the truth. She would know something was wrong. I wouldn't be able to hide this and I didn't know if I wanted to go there. To say the words out loud would make my living nightmare a reality and I was sure if I uttered one single word I would surely die by choking on them.