Pleasantly Raising Cain

Little Stephanie

This one shot is dedicated to Baespoke for kindly doing the photo edits for the Echoes Trilogy which will be written next year 😃😃
Love you Val 😘😘💜💜

"Oh please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with criminals on top?"

"No Gordon."

"I'll pay you."

"No," Skulduggery said.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm busy."

"Come on Skul we both know that's a lie."

"I'm always busy."

"I heard Meritorious telling you that there were no cases for tonight. I may have been eavesdropping," Gordon said sheepishly.

"Unless something comes up."

"Can you please just do this for me for one night? For an old friend?"

"Why can't you take her with you?"

"Because," Gordon said, before looking around and leaning towards Skulduggery. "I met someone," he whispered.

"Oh," Skulduggery replied. "You met someone."

"Yes I did. And she's very hot and sexy, and... I can't remember if she's even a woman!"

"Gordon..."

"Please?"

Skulduggery sighed. "Fine, but only for tonight. And never again understand?"

Gordon nodded eagerly and a smile found its way to his lips.

********

Skulduggery sighed as he walked inside Gordon's estate. He heard the noise of footsteps running towards the door, and stopped as a little girl with dark hair and pretty brown eyes looked at him.

"Um... Hellwo," the little girl said.

"Hi Stephanie," Skulduggery replied, and the girl's face lit up.

"How did ywou know my name?" She asked.

"Your uncle asked me to look after you while he was away for the night."

Stephanie grinned, and bounded towards him. Skulduggery stiffened as she hugged him. God, he hated hugs.

"I like ywou," she said.

"I like you too Stephanie."

Stephanie giggled and pulled away just as Gordon Edgley turned the corner.

"Ah," he said. "Skulduggery, you're here."

"Unfortunately."

"Don't be like that. She's already eaten her dinner. All you have to do is put her to bed when I leave."

"Why can't you do that?"

Gordon stiffened. "Because..."

"Because what?"

"Because I'm leaving! Right now! Yeah, I'm leaving! Bye!"

Skulduggery was confused as Gordon grabbed his coat and left the house. He shook his head and looked back towards Stephanie, who was staring at him.

"So," he said. "I guess it's time for bed now?"

Stephanie glared at him. "Try and put me to bed," she snarled. "And I'll hurt you."

Skulduggery froze. So that's why Gordon hadn't wanted to put the little girl to bed. Skulduggery cursed under his breath and Stephanie was still scowling at him, her jaw set firmly. Was he really scared of a little girl? She was four for God's sake!

"Stephanie," he said sternly. "It's time for bed."

Stephanie smirked. "No it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes it is."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

Skulduggery cursed again. He was arguing with a four year old! Jesus.

Come on Skul, show her who's boss!

"Stephanie, you are going to bed. RIGHT NOW!"

Stephanie still smiled. "Hehe, no I'm not, and you can't make me."

"Oh you shouldn't have said that," Skulduggery snarled, and pounced on her. Stephanie squealed and tried to run but Skulduggery had already scooped her up and was carrying her up the stairs. She screamed and kicked and flailed and he just groaned in annoyance. Seriously? What had Gordon been teaching this kid?

"No need to raise cain," he said, placing her onto her bed before calmly walking back out.

Gordon was going to die tonight. Painfully and slowly. Skulduggery sighed and sat down on the couch. He started meditating to kill time.

********

He was awoken from his meditation by a loud noise from outside. He gracefully got up from the couch and looked out the window. He gasped and rushed outside. Then he growled. His beloved Bentley was covered in dents. And Stephanie was holding a hammer, grinning evilly.

"I told you not to put me to bed!" She snarled, and her grin widened, flashing her white teeth.

*********

Valkyrie frowned as Skulduggery finished his story.

"So, I did that, when I was four?!" She exclaimed, not believing it.

Skulduggery nodded. "Yes, yes you did."

"Damn! I was evil!"

"You're lucky I didn't shoot you where you stood."

She laughed. "Gordon would have been pissed then."

"I was pissed! You'd vandalised my car!"

"You obviously got it fixed though."

"I still hold a grudge."

She turned to him. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Skulduggery I was four!"

"And even at four years old you still managed to be a badass."