Pleasantly Raising Cain

Fletcher And The Coke

Skulduggery and Valkyrie were sitting in the front of the Bentley, trying to drown out Fletcher's annoying voice. Valkyrie pursed her lips to hold in her shouts of anger. Skulduggery looked at her and tilted his head as the teleporter started blabbering on about hair gel. Valkyrie turned in her seat to face him.

"Fletcher," she said sweetly.

"Yes Valkyrie?"

"SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT YOUR STUPID HAIR!" She screamed, and Fletcher fell back against the seat in shock.

Skulduggery's shoulders started to shake with laughter and Fletcher glared, but didn't say anything.

Valkyrie turned back around and sighed. Silence, finally. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the window.

"Can we get food?" An annoying voice asked.

Valkyrie growled and opened her eyes. Fletcher again.

"No we cannot," Skulduggery replied.

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"I can teleport and be back in thirty seconds."

Skulduggery sighed. "Fine. No longer than thirty seconds or I'll break your neck understand?"

Fletcher grinned, and nodded before disappearing. Valkyrie shook her head.

True to his word, Fletcher teleported back inside the Bentley in under thirty seconds. He had McDonalds and coke with him.

"Don't even think about eating that in this car," Skulduggery told him.

"Then how am I supposed to eat?!"

"Stick you head out the window. And if you get any food or coke in this car Fletcher I swear to whatever God you believe in that I will make your death slow and painful."

Fletcher looked very frightened now, but he rolled down the Bentley's window and sat on his knees. Then he started eating, doing everything he could not to get killed by the skeleton.

After eating the salty chips, Fletcher was thirsty. So thirsty in fact that his throat was sore. But he was too afraid to open the coke in the Bentley for fear that he would spill it. Oh, but he needed it! Maybe if he opened it very carefully...

Fletcher slowly unscrewed the lid from the coke bottle and went to take a long swig when the Bentley went over a bump...

The coke spilled out all over the back seat and onto Fletcher's T-shirt. He froze, and looked from the coke bottle in his hand, to the stains on the seats, and up at Skulduggery. He shrieked when he saw the skeleton looking directly at him, and the Bentley was still driving!

"Um..." He said. "Oops."

Valkyrie's eyes widened when she looked around behind her. Then she started laughing as the Bentley pulled onto the side of the road. Fletcher watched helplessly as Skulduggery got out of the driver's seat and stalked around the bonnet to the side where Fletcher was sitting. He gulped and looked at Valkyrie.

"Help!" He whispered. That made Valkyrie laugh even harder. Fletcher scowled. "Thanks Valkyrie."

Now Skulduggery was at his window, and Fletcher sighed. He said his prayers to the Lord, and then the car door opened.

"You... You could have just... Teleported," Valkyrie wheezed and Fletcher's eyes widened. But it was too late, Skulduggery grabbed Fletcher by the arm, and hauled him out.

Fletcher couldn't teleport now, if he did he'd only take Skulduggery with him. So he sagged in defeat.

Skulduggery grabbed a pair of scissors from his jacket pocket, and snipped off the top of Fletcher's hair. The teleporter shrieked and Skulduggery let go.

"Let's see how hair gel helps that," Skulduggery said smugly. Fletcher glared daggers at him. "And you're cleaning up the coke."