Pleasantly Raising Cain

Shakespeare

"You clay brained bum-bailey!" Valkyrie shrieked, throwing the dishcloth in the air as she dropped yet another pancake onto the ground.

If Skulduggery had a face, his eyebrows would've been raised at that moment.

"What in the world did you just say?" He asked.

Valkyrie turned. "Nothing!"

"Were you quoting Shakespeare?"

"Maybe..." She replied sheepishly.

Skulduggery shook his head in amusement and Valkyrie grinned. She turned back to the stove and squealed. There was a cockroach crawling not a metre away from her. She panicked, and grabbed the pan, attempting to drop it into the bug.

"Die you bat-fowling, beef-witted barnacle!" She yelled. Skulduggery laughed.

"Leave the poor thing alone..."

"No! This hell-hated, hedge-pig must die!"

"Valkyrie what the..."

"Hush you rude-growing pignut!"

Skulduggery put his hands in the air in mock surrender.

"Yes William."

"No one asked for your opinion you paunchy, ill-nurtured, maggot-pie!"

"That hurt..."

"Does it look like I care you fat-kidneyed, flap-dragon?"

"You can stop with the insults now."

"Why? Do they hurt your ego?"

"Very much."

"I'm sorry miscreant."

Skulduggery just sighed.

So I'm doing Macbeth in Drama and I had this idea from doing a lesson on Shakespearian insults... 😛
Tell me what you guys want in the next one shot, heartbreak or more comedy?