Pleasantly Raising Cain

Dramatisation

"Valkyrie what the hell are you doing?" Skulduggery asked as Valkyrie Cain bounded up the stairs. She turned to face him with a fish expression on her face. He laughed at her as she stood up taller and held her hand out in front of her. Then she started talking like Shakespeare.

"Oh Heavenly Father! I bow down before thee!"

Skulduggery had to contain himself. This was too funny.

"Valkyrie seriously what..."

"Bow down before me you worthless peasants!" She screeched. "For I am the magnificent, beautiful, smart, sexy Valkyrie Cain! And I am here to save you all!"

She slid down the balcony handrail and still managed to keep her duck face intact. Skulduggery was on the ground now laughing and Valkyrie was standing over him.

"Rise above the clouds of ash my loyal servants! For today we shall eat! Lots and lots of..." She stopped and her speech was cut short as she ran out of things to say. She scowled at the skeleton who was now rolling around on the floor howling with laughter.

She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Not funny Pleasant," she sighed.

"What was all that?" He asked as he finally managed to calm himself down.

She sighed again. "My reflection is doing a Drama performance in school."

"And you were trying to be better than it?"

"I'm already better than it!"

"Mmhmm."

She kicked him in the ribs. "Shut up."

Then a grin formed on her face and she jumped up on the kitchen table, resuming her powerful looking stance.

"Puny sorcerers bow down before me!"

Skulduggery watched as the table leg quivered, and then snapped. The table broke and Valkyrie fell down with it. This time, he couldn't stop himself from laughing at the sight before him.

Valkyrie Cain was sitting on her butt in a pile of broken wood, scowling. And Skulduggery found himself back on the ground, howling with laughter that he couldn't control...