Pleasantly Raising Cain

Pen

"I am so bored right now! Bored right now! Bored right now! I am so bored right now! Find me something to do!" Valkyrie Cain chanted as she skipped around the couch in the living room. She was currently with Skulduggery in his house, bored as hell, while the skeleton kept his gaze straight ahead, paying her no attention at all.

When Valkyrie didn't get an answer out of him, she sat on the ground with her legs crossed in front of the couch, staring up at him with her big brown eyes.

"What can I do? I'm so bored!"

Skulduggery said nothing, and Valkyrie scowled.

"You're an asshole you know that?"

Still no answer. She was getting impatient, and she could tell that it amused him.

"A bird pooped on your Bentley," she muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Finally!" She screamed, jumping to her feet. "Find me something to do before I kill myself!"

"You wouldn't do that."

"Oh I would. I would do it to spite you."

"Fine," he sighed, pointing to the kitchen. "Go and get a pen and paper. Write down everything great about me."

Valkyrie narrowed her eyes.

"You're so full of it."

"I know."

"I hate you."

"I know."

She grumbled, and dragged her feet as she walked to the kitchen, letting him know of her displeasure. He didn't seem to care much at all. She wasn't surprised.

"Bloody skeleton, I'm gonna end up killing him one day..."

"I can hear you," Skulduggery told her. "And I'm already dead genius."

Valkyrie cursed.

"Heard that too. Watch your language."

"Watch your language," Valkyrie mocked, only her voice was more high pitched. She rolled her eyes and started rummaging around in the draws for a pen. Eventually she found one, and grabbed a piece of paper from the notebook on the bench.

She started scribbling, and about halfway through the word the pen ran out of ink.

"Bloody hell!" She exclaimed, completely annoyed at this point in time. She found a different pen, and started writing the word again. It spelled out her name, but when she was about to write 'Cain,' the pen snapped in half.

"WHY?!" She screamed, launching the pen at the wall. Her mouth widened in shock as it went straight through the wall, leaving a gaping hole in the plaster. She covered her face with her hands, holding in laughter.

"Oh my faceless ones," she giggled.

"Faceless ones?" Skulduggery's voice came from the lounge room.

Valkyrie struggled to contain her laughter. "It's nothing!" She replied.

"Sure it is."

She managed to calm herself down, and walked over to the wall, inspecting the damage that had been done. It wasn't too bad, and would be easy to fix, but it didn't stop it from being bloody hilarious.

She laughed into her hand again and scooped the pen out of the wall. She didn't realise how hard she could throw things. That explained how she had accidentally knocked Tanith out the other day when they had been training. She must hit pretty powerfully...

An idea popped into her head, and Valkyrie smirked. Skulduggery wanted to be a jerk, well he was going to get a taste of his own medicine...

*********

Valkyrie crept up behind the couch, and had the first pen, the one that had run out of ink, in her hand. She had an evil smile on her face. This was going to be so funny.

Once she thought she was close enough, she threw the pen the exact same way she had thrown it before. It flew through the air, before smacking Skulduggery in the back of the head.

Valkyrie fell to her knees laughing as he turned around.

"Not funny," he growled.

"It was soooo funny!" She cackled, and screamed as he got up from the couch and came towards her. She shot up the stairs like a bullet, still laughing to herself.