Pleasantly Raising Cain

Skeleton Song (Songfic)

Dedicated to Skulduggeryvalkyrie for giving me the idea! Love you Blizzy Wizzy xx

Valkyrie sighed, resting her head on her closed fist. Skulduggery was in the driver's seat of the Bentley, amused at how bored his partner was.

"So..." Valkyrie said, trying to make conversation.

"So?" He repeated.

"I'm bored out of my mind Skul!"

"Count sheep."

She glared at him. "I'm not trying to sleep you know!"

"Touchy."

"Shut up."

He laughed lightly.

"Can I at least turn on the radio?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

He sighed. "Fine."

Valkyrie gave him a cute smile, and flicked on the radio. She grinned at him when the man announced the next song.

"Hell no," Skulduggery said. "Turn it off Valkyrie."

"Nope!" She replied as the starting lines of Skeleton Song by Kate Nash played out through the Bentley.

"Skeleton you are my friend
But you are made of bone
And you have got no flesh and blood
Running through you to help protect the bone"

"Valkyrie come on! You know I hate this song!"

"Why? It's adorable!"

"Skeleton we have been friends for years
And you have seen me through some trials
And tribulations and some tears
But everybody thinks I'm weird
And I should have known
That it wouldn't be long
Until you, you've got me standing in an awkward position
With unwanted attention and a need for explanation
And it's not that I'm letting go of you
But I don't know what to do"

Skulduggery groaned loudly.

"Valkyrie this is torture!"

"I know! That's why it amuses me!"

"Skeleton we are so close
But you have got no body
So why do you insist on wearing clothes"

"I have dignity to uphold!" He yelled at the radio. Valkyrie laughed even louder.

"Skeleton when we were young
It was easy
Even though the other kids
They would tease me
But I was only seven I had you
But now I'm twenty-two
And now it's different, when I take you out
And you, you've got me standing in an awkward position
With unwanted attention and a need for explanation
And it's not that I'm letting go of you
But I don't know what to do"

"I do," Skulduggery said, reaching out to turn off the radio. Valkyrie slapped his hand away.

"Don't you dare!" She hissed.

"Valkyrie come on!"

'"Cause sometimes at night,
I dream of the most terrible things
I take a hammer and I creep out of bed
And I raise it high
And I smash your head
Fibular and tubular
And ribs and cages, too
In fact, while I'm here
I'll smash the whole of you

Smaaaaaaaaaaash !"

"That's charming that is," Skulduggery muttered and Valkyrie couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"But Skeleton, you are my friend
And I could never bring your life to an end
Yes Skeleton you are, you are my friend
And I will be there for you until the end
And even though, when I take you out
You've got me, you've got me standing in an awkward position
With unwanted attention and a need for explanation"

"Valkyrie..." He groaned again.

"Come on! Stop being a baby!"

"I'm not!" He whined.

"I could, I could never let you go
And that is all I know
And that is all I know
And that is all I, that is all I know
And that is all I know, know"

As the song came to an end, Valkyrie clapped and Skulduggery shook his head.

"I hate that damn song," he muttered, and Valkyrie pouted.

"But it's such a cute song!"

"It's. Not. Cute."

"Right sorry. Not cute. Adorable."

Skulduggery reached over and turned off the radio.

"Tomorrow I am pulling that god damn thing out of my car."

"No!"

"Yes. Kate Nash is a hoe."

Valkyrie's jaw dropped. "Did you just say..."

"Yes I did," he said, changing the gears.

Valkyrie was lost for words. Skulduggery had called Kate Nash a hoe, she actually couldn't believe it... Then she grinned.

"Naughty Mr Pleasant."

He didn't reply, and Valkyrie seized her chance. She pulled out her phone, scrolling through the Guvera Music app. Then she found what she was looking for...

"Skeleton you are my friend
But you are made of bone
And you have got no flesh and blood
Running through you to help protect the bone"

"VALKYRIE!"