The Calm Before The Storm

Nightmares

~Chloe~

Max and I chat for the next few hours swapping stories from our time apart. Max tells me about her struggles connecting to anyone and how she seemed utterly shunned by the world. It hurt to hear... I... I always had it set in my head that once Max left the quaint little town of Arcadia Bay, her life became so much easier and happier. Maybe because I was no longer a burden to her. I knew that was selfish thinking, the move was hard and devastating on both of us.

I shake my head, not wanting to relive the night Max's parents broke the news to us.

Anyways, I keep my side of things lighter, not wanting to worry her with all the other shit me and Rachel got into in out rebellious teen years. I'm still in those years... what am I saying?

"Um... yeah... it might not have been the best idea ever had but hey, at least I got a wicked scar and a cool story to tell," I say with an awkward laugh as I rub at the back of my head.

Max chuckles warmly and yawns midway, stretching out like a cat as she does so, "Jeebus, I'm so fricking tired".

I can't help but crack a smile, "Pfft, dork".

She rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out at me.

"Heh, real mature Caulfield, real mature,".

"Well, you try tripping through time without a fucking idea of what you're doing or how many people's lives you're messing with!" Max snaps back suddenly, her nostrils flaring in a spurt of anger.

I blink, and she blinks, both of us surprised by her outburst.

"Whoa".

Max's face goes red as she turns away and profusely apologizes for getting angry and how she didn't mean it. "I- I'm sorry, Chloe... I- I-".

"Dude, it's cool... you're like... still... processing this shit, alright. I get it. If it helps you vent, rage at me all you want, Maxie".

She blinks almost in disbelief, "Chloe...how could you even say that?! I- I I dragged you into this shit. I'm the reason all of this happened, I'm the reason you're so miserable!". Max claps her hand over her mouth, tears overflowing from her eyes.

That hits me like a fuck ton of bricks.

For years... years I blamed her for my misery... but... I never stopped to think that... she might blame herself too.

My voice get caught in my throat, once again, fumble for words as Max starts crying again.

Shit, shit, say something! I curse to myself.

But no words come.

And Max continues to cry.

I sit there, listening to her again.

I'm such a fucking idiot. I can't even comfort the person who means the world to me. Huh, pathetic.

I lean over and grab her, holding her close to my body and I begin crying along with her. Max struggles for a second, unsure if she wants to be held by me. But after a moment, she relaxes and cuddles up against chest, her tears dampening my shirt.

"I'm such a fuck up, Max... I- I'm so sorry if you felt like my pain was your fault. It's not... I- I did this to myself. I fucking dug myself deeper and deeper into a whole I couldn't get myself out of. And you saved me... in more ways than one. Nothing I could ever do, could ever make up for all the sacrifices you've made for me, but I promise I'll try, I'll do anything for you".

Of course, I don't expect Max to respond, we're both crying too much to get out a few sentences, let alone uphold an entire conversation.

I don't bother trying to talk anymore, in fear that I'd only fuck things up even more and because I literally can't think of a single comforting thing to say.