The Calm Before The Storm

Regrets & Mistakes

~Chloe~

Why?

Why did I tell her that?

Max already has to deal with the guilt of letting the Bay die in my place, and now, after all, we've been through, after all she's done for me, I tell her that we should just stay friends?

What is wrong with me?

I give the steering wheel a good few punches to let some steam out, but I doesn't make me feel better.

I am utterly and totally pissed at myself... again.

I look over at the field, seeing Max lying still in the grass, her beautiful brunette hair flowing in the wind.

God, what the fuck did I do to get such an amazing, beautiful perfect girl like her to fall for a dumbass like me.

Hell, I don't even have a fucking diploma!

(Well, neither does Max but that's beside the point)

I'm not good enough for her is what I'm trying to say...

And yet...

There she is loving her best friend... if we're even that anymore.

I should be out there trying to comfort her, not sitting in here alone with my sadness.

Ugh, why'd I have to be such a fucking fuck up who fucks up everything she fucking touches?

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, feeling myself growing more and more flustered and angry.

Just relax, take a deep breath... deep breath, Chloe... deep breath.

I open my eyes and feel more relaxed, the tension in my body melting away like butter.

I turn back to the field and see that Max is slowly making her way back to the truck so, like the insensitive asshole that I am, I straighten myself up (heh) and pretend like nothing's wrong.

But, when Max reenters to the truck, I can immediately tell she's been crying which immediately makes me feel even shittier.

Yeah, I gotta drop the 'tough punk' think and actually be a fucking decent human being,

"Max, I...".

"Don't touch me," Max snaps when I try and reach over to apologize.

I recoil and decide to keep my hands to myself.

What did I expect?

The girl who fucked up space and time for me says that she loves me in a way nobody has, and I turn her away.

What kind of friend or... or person does that?

I sigh to myself and rev the engine, pulling out onto the road, not really having a destination in mind.

So, we let the road decide where it wants us to go... ya know... it could be an adventure for us.

Anywho, we've been on the road for a few hours and it's really quiet.

Too quiet.

We're not talking, there's no music playing, there is just utter and deafening silence.

We are still about half a day's drive to Portland, so when I pull into a small town, I decide to stop, needing to gas up and restock our dwindling food supply (which is basically just a few pieces of candy, energy bars and a water bottle I'd left lying around in the truck).

There are a bunch of little fast food places and the sight of them makes me hungry.

"Do you want anything?" I ask as I drive into the parking lot of a Burger King.