The Calm Before The Storm

Fate & Destiny

~Chloe~

"Okay, so we got cereal, sodas, junk food, milk... what else do we need?" I ask, reading off of my grocery list. Max doesn't respond so I turn around and see she's not even behind me. "Max?" I say aloud... still no reply. I roll my eyes and start roaming around the store like an idiot trying to find where my girlfriend wondered off to. I sigh with relief when I finally find her, "There you are... what happened. Did you forget something?". No answer. I walk right up beside her and realize she has something clutched in her hands. It's a pair of tiny shoes. They're so small that they'd probably fit in the palm of my hand. "Max?". She looks up at me and smiles. For some reason, I blush, I've never seen her look at me like this, with that deep longing hidden deep within her dark blue eyes. Her gaze returns to the shoes, "I think," Max finally says, "I think we should bring it up again". I gasp lightly, "S-seriously?". She nods and puts the sneakers back down, "We've put it off long enough,". "Five years to be exact," I say. Max looks up at me and my heart starts pounding wildly in my chest," We're really going to do this... aren't we?". She nods again, "I think I'm ready to have kids Chloe... I think we're ready". I drop the basket I'd been carrying and embrace my partner, almost in tears. "Huh, are you crying?" She asks with a small laugh. "Punks don't cry, Max," I say even though I'm clearly bawling my eyes out. "Hmm, but my punk does. Now come on, Let's go pay for this stuff and go home". I nod, "Let me just hug you for a while, okay?". "Okay". We stand there, hugging in the middle of the aisle until finally... I pull away, resting my hands on her hips. Max smiles, "What?". I giggle, "You're gonna get fat". (We'd already decided that Max would be the one to have the baby). She blushes and playfully punches my shoulder, "Fuck you... I might make you get the procedure instead". That Idea doesn't scare me as much as it might have a few years ago, I'd actually like to have a kid of my own someday. "Maybe next time," I say, kissing the bridge of her nose. She blinks a few times and smiles, "N-next time?". "Who knows, life is full of surprises," I tell her, gathering the stuff I dropped, "Now come on, we've got a lot of preparing to do"..............

As a warm memory fades from my mind, reality sets in. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before walking into our bedroom. We left the party early, needing some time alone to process what just happened. The first thing I see when I enter is Max, she's standing by the window, staring blankly at the world around her. Blue lays at her feet, whining softly. Our room is dull and bare, the large space is crowded with boxes and wrapped furniture. We moved from the apartment to an actual house in Arcadia Bay about a week or two ago, now we have a lot more room and a huge backyard. I sigh and close the door noiselessly behind me, "Max?". No reply. "Can you please talk to me?" I say as I walk up beside her. Still no response. "Could you at least look at me?". I hear her sigh sharply before turning around, avoiding my gaze, "There, you happy?" Max asks coldly. I come up to hug her but she pushes me away. "I really appreciate your attempts to comfort me, Chloe... but I really want to be left alone right now... M'kay?". "No, I get that you're hurting and all, but I'm not just going to sit here and watch you wither away again... this involves me too," I say, keeping my voice low. "How? You have no idea what I'm going through right now so don't even try," Max replies, her voice wavering a small bit. "Uh, I do actually". "Bullshit... now please, go". "I know exactly how you feel, Max, " I say, reaching out my hand to her. She swats it away," How?!". "Because...". "Because isn't a fucking answer, Chloe... How... Tell me how you fucking know!". "Because I can't have kids either!" I blurt, breaking down in tears. Max takes a step back, stunned, "W-What?" she mutters, all the anger in her voice is gone. I swallow hard and take a slow breath, "I- I can't have kids either, Max... I'm sorry,,, I'm so so so sorry,". "When were you going to tell me this..." Max asks, her voice shaking. "I- I don't know. You stopped eating and talking to me for three days after we found out about you, Max. I was afraid you were going to...*gulp* die. I wasn't about to put you through all that again... I- I couldn't.... It would destroy you". Suddenly, my knees feel weak and I stumble forward into Max's open arms, "I- I'm so sorry". She leads me over to the mattress lying on the floor and helps me sit down and I just seem to loose it, breaking down in violent sobs. We stay there in each arms crying until the tears slowly stop and all that's left are soft sniffles. "What did we do to deserve this?" Max mutters, allowing me to cry on her shoulder. "We... we didn't do... anything, Max. *sniff* the world is a fucked up place and... somethings aren't meant to be," I say, trying to pull myself together, "Maybe... *sniff* maybe this is fate". "How the fuck can this be fate, Chloe... I- I mean... *sniff* neither of us can have kids... what about the plan... 'Our' plan?" Max asks, turning to me with a look that I can only describe as pure defeat. God, the plan. W-when we first suggested having kids, Max and I had only been a couple for less than a year, so we decided to wait a few years and see if we felt the same way. If... if we did, we'd look more into the idea of becoming parents, and if not... well, we wouldn't. Last year we brought it up again and... well, we went to the doctor and all and... and... y-you can piece the rest together. "I know... what I meant was... maybe having a kid of our own isn't our fate... maybe we can adopt," I say, lying back on the bed, "That's always an option". "I don't want to adopt Chloe... I- I wanted to... I wanted to have a kid with you," Max says as she lays beside me, drying her eyes, "It won't be the same". "But at least we'll have a kid... and that's all that really matters right?" I reply, giving my fiancé a quick peck on the lips. She smiles and rolls over, basically lying on top of me. I guess so but... *sigh* do you really think we can do it... raise a child? I mean, we're talking about an actual factual mini human here". I nod, "I know we can do it, Max, trust me on this one". "I do trust you, Chloe... it's just... *sigh*... I don't know," She replies, resting her head on my chest. "You've wanted to have kids for years, Max, and you've never questioned our ability to parent... tell me what's on your mind" I ask, sensing that there's something she's hiding. Max rolls off and curls up beside me, "W-what if they don't let us adopt, Chloe... and what will your parents say if we do get a kid... h-hell, what will my parents think? You're still in school and I have a job... so w- who's going to take care of the baby when we're not there?" She blurts, a small bit panicked. "Relax, that's all stuff we can worry about later... We literally just got engaged, for now, let's focus on getting married... let's focus on us," I reply, pulling her closer to me. Max smiles a small bit and kisses me, "I love you, Chloe," She whispers. "I love you too, my love... I'll love you 'till the end of time itself".