The Calm Before The Storm

I Won't Give Up

 ~Chloe~

Max falls asleep in my arms in a matter of seconds. She's exhausted. For the past few days I've noticed that she avoids sleep at all costs, she almost passed out at a rest stop. I still know that there's something going on with her, even if she continues to deny it. Anyways, I gently scoop Max up and carry her to the bedroom, setting her down on the mattress. I take off her shoes and sigh, watching as she makes herself comfortable under the thin sheets. As I make my way back out into the living room, I see Max's messenger bag has fallen over and blue has her snout shoved in the open flap. It must have fallen when we got up. "Hey!" I say through gritted teeth," Shoo Shoo!". The dog jumps back and runs off to the corner of the room, stunned. I quickly gather up the contents of the bag and shove them back in. Her journal, however, has fallen open to a specific page, so... Like the nosey person I am, I read it. Or, try to. The writing is almost illegible, really unlike Max's prim and prissy handwriting, and yet... it's still hers. From what little I can read, I'm able to piece together a few things. For one, she seems freaked out while writing, like someone's, watching her write. (I know It's not me because I haven't seen Max use her journal in forever). I mean, the pencil marks almost go through the page, or more often than not, trail off into swirling spiral patterns. My name is constantly repeated, too. Hmm, I close the book and shove it back in the bag, sighing as I do so. I hang it up on the coat rack so Blue won't get at it, and make my way into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. It's been awhile since I've had a decent cup (no, offense to Joyce of course) and the hella expensive shit Max gets from all around the world is to die for. I give Blue some dog food we'd brought with us and wait. My mind almost immediately goes back to the journal entry. One of the things repeated and crossed out was: "I've gotta keep her safe, I gotta protect her, I gotta". It's kinda obvious that Max is obsessed with saving me. I'm not saying that that's a bad thing, I just wish she'd let some of that bad stuff that happens to me... well, happen. I mean, I totally get that she doesn't want to see me get hurt... but, you've gotta see it from my perspective. My girlfriend; the person I care the most about in this shitty world; is hurting herself by using her powers, just to not see me in pain. I know for a fact that my pain is not worth hers. The coffee maker rings, snapping me back into reality. I quickly turn the machine off so that the annoying high pitched beeps don't wake Max. I grab one of the adorable 'I'm Her's & She's Mine' mugs Max got me for my birthday last weekend and fill it up with the warm rich drink.

Blue pads up to me and rubs her head against my legs like a cat. I absently start stroking her soft velvety ears until I finish mixing my coffee. The dog continues to follow me as I make my way back to Max, who's still asleep. I carefully slip under the covers with her and flip on the T.V. It's tuned to a channel that mainly plays old westerns flicks. Hmm, Max and I do enjoy a good retro film every now and then, but... nothing as old as this. Maybe Ryan was in here while we were away, eh. Who cares if he was, I certainly don't. Anyways, I continue to watch since there's nothing else on. I gesture for Blue to jump up on the bed and she does, landing gracefully on the mattress beside me, she then nuzzles herself between us. There's a gunfight, bullets flying, men falling. The dog's ears shoot up. Shots fire and suddenly, Max flinches. Another shot, Max flinches again... and again... and again. I decide to shut the T.V off the fourth time. It's really odd for her to be doing that. You'd think Max would be fucking terrified of guns since she saw me get killed from one so many times, but no... she's oddly comfortable with the sound. Hell, we even took a gun safety course last year so we could learn how to properly use one if need be. I mean, with all the crazy shit we've been through, anything can happen. Anyways, I set my cup aside and slide even further under the covers, making Blue move to the edge of the bed. I rest my head on Max's pillow, we're so close our noses are practically touching. "Hi," she mutters, her eyes fluttering open for a moment when she realizes I'm next to her. I smile, still not saying anything. She scoots closer, wrapping her arms around me. I run my fingers through her shaggy hair, which sports a streak of dyed blue hair. She's kept it short, making it kinda hard to mess up. I continue to watch her for a bit, feeling tired myself. Max's freckles fall like rain upon her beautiful sun-kissed skin. God... if I had the chance, (or the time) I'd kiss every last one of them. She still has a scar from the accident but you can barely see it unless you're super up close and I'm the only one who gets's that close. I also notice how tired she looks, not just physically... but mentally and emotionally. I wish she'd just tell me what's wrong, m- maybe I could help... I want to understand. I close my eyes and yawn. If Max won't tell me what's wrong, that's okay... but that won't stop me from figuring out things on my own.