Dominic

Chapter 52 (Just revised)

Camille

I was sitting in a huge pile of self-loathing at this moment, cursing myself for walking away from him, for not fighting...for us. My pride wouldn't let me go back and I hated me for it. I watched Cassie and Dino on the couch watching TV remembering just a few short months ago I was actually that happy. 

 We'd made a beer/wine/liquor run earlier in the day and went back to Dino's house and I bought a six pack of Corona's and limes; I had no idea why I liked those so much but they were my first beer I ever drank when I turned twenty-one.

 I stepped barefoot into the kitchen, grabbed the six pack and my cut up limes and headed outside to my car, climbing up on the hood I sat cross-legged and popped the first top, drained the lime and started chugging; by the time I'd reached the second one I was feeling a little braver than normal common sense would have allowed for.

 Pulling my phone from my back pocket the first call I made was to Valentina, I don't know why, maybe because she reminded me of what I wanted in a mother.

 "Sweetheart" she said sympathetically.

 "Hey" was all I could say, just the sound of her voice made me want to start weeping.

 "Darling, he is stubborn and pig-headed just like his father was. I'm not going to get in the middle of this, both of you are grown adults and need to decide if you want each other or not, but I will tell you this, Camille. If you want my son, fight for him" she said emphatically. The rest of the time she just listened patiently to everything I had to say and I guess that's all I really wanted, was for someone to listen. We ended that call with still planning to meet for lunch.

I was well through the fourth one when the next call was to Dominic. I didn't know what I was going to say, if anything, or did I just need to hear his voice on the other end to tell me I didn't fuck this all up completely. He answered on the first ring, his voice sounding tired. 

 "Are you alright?" was the first thing out of his mouth. 

 I hiccuped, sniffed and then answered with a "No, I'm not alright. God help me, I can't stay away from you. I'm like a moth to a flame; I know I'm flying right to it and that I will be burned, but I keep heading straight for it anyway. Why can't I have what I want, Dom? Is it too much to ask that when I tell someone I love them with all my heart, that I want the same thing in return?" I was flat out crying by this point. He never tried to interrupt me but waited patiently for me to finish. 

 "It's not too much to ask, tesoro" he responded, sighing. "I wanted to stop you from leaving, but my stupid pride got in the way and I let it. I should have run after you, but I didn't. You're the only one that has ever completely seen my bared heart and soul and I got scared. I want my queen back but I don't know what to do to get her to come back to me. I've never done this before; it's all new to me. Help me figure out what to do" he pleaded.

"You keep hurting me" I replied softly. 

 He sighed then said "I know I do and I told you that it might happen again but that I would never knowingly do it on purpose. What do I do, Camille?" he asked. He sounded vulnerable, hurt and depressed; I never believed in kicking a man while he is down and for all of his faults I loved him, all of him, the good with the bad.

 "Well" I started. "You could start by meeting me at Coffeecakes tomorrow. The insurance adjuster called, the police investigation has been completed and insurance is going to pay to rebuild; I just need to go and see if anything can be salvaged before demolition work begins. Wear clothes you don't mind getting dirty in and we'll go from there" I said. 

 "What time?" he asked softly. 

 "Ten" I replied. We talked for a long time after that and while I was definitely feeling better about things I knew we still had a long way to go. I was going to have to find some kind of middle ground when dealing with him. He wasn't like normal guys, with normal lives and normal jobs. The sooner I could retrain my brain for that track the smoother things would go.

"I need to go, Dom. It's getting late" I finally told him. I enjoyed talking to him and I knew I would miss his voice the moment we ended the call.

 "Cam?" he said.

 "Yeah?" I replied. 

 "I miss you" was his reply.

 "Do you?" I asked. 

 "And I love you" he confessed. 

 "Will you show me the next time I see you?" I questioned. 

 He didn't hesitate when answering with "I will."

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked Cassie as I swung around facing the house.

 She smiled and said "Long enough to know that you were just talking to Dominic." I nodded and finished off the last of my six pack.

 "Well?" she asked.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and said "He's meeting us at the shop tomorrow to help with the clean up and I told him that we would go from there." 

 She walked up to the car, placed her hand on my thigh and said "That's good right?" I looked up at the star-filled sky for a moment and then back to her and replied "I guess it is; I mean it is but he keeps hurting me."

 "Camille, it's a two way street, hon. You hurt him too by walking away; I mean you didn't even try to fight for him. You just gave up and walked away." One thing about Cassie, she was impartial and unless it was blatantly obvious she would never take sides; she would always be honest with me and that's why our personal and business relationship worked so well. 

 "And I'm going to try and fix it if I can" I said grabbing the empty six pack and sliding from the hood.