Officially Cumberbatched? A sequel to 'Well and truly Cumberbatched'

Chapter 17

AN: I want to dedicate this chapter to three lovely people. Firstly @Amazingwriter231, @emilyjane721, and @court_moviegirl because they're really lovely and have been so supportive and encouraging writing this. (I'd also like to say they're also BRILLIANT writers!) Enjoy! :0)

Thursday. One week, a lot of questions, answers, thank yous, and I love yous later. St Thomas' hospital. 

'A little while later I was about 15 minutes from Ben's house.  

"So, are you near yet? I owe you quite a hug when you get here." Ben excitedly said as I crossed the road, Merlin walking calmly next to me. "You sound like a wee lad waiting for Christmas, I'm about 15 minutes away. What have I done to deserve that?" I asked.

"Hmm, well you've just been you really." he said and I smiled. We kept chatting for a while and we got reminiscing about being at Leeds festival last year when I suddenly felt something at the back of my head. I turned around thinking it couldn't be a gust of wind or a crisp packet blowing in the wind or something. It wasn't either of those things.

It was the end of a gun barrel.'

"Rosie! Rosie! It's okay, it was just a dream, look at me Rosie, come on look at me, you're okay. Stop crying sweetheart, it was just a dream, I'm here, you're okay, you're okay"

Panting, I could hear Ben's voice, but I barely knew what he was saying. I looked into the dark night drenched room and faintly saw Ben in front of me, he seemed to be knelt in my lap, his hands were on my shoulders. 

"Ca- can um, can you turn the lights on please? What time is it?" I faintly asked and I felt him lean across me. He turned on the lamp and looked at me again, I could see him a bit better now. 

"It's um, um...it's 4AM sweetheart" he tiredly said, rubbing his eyes. I feel really bad being the reason he hardly sleeps some nights, maybe I'd be better off back in that coma. 

"I'm sorry, I um, I woke you didn't I?" I timidly asked, I don't think I've gone more than two nights in a row actually sleeping the whole way through.

"It's okay, you can't help it. It was just a dream, you're okay. Alright?" he softly said and I nodded, wiping my eyes a few times. 

"Yeah, um I'm sorry" I said and he held me close for a while, we both let out heavy breaths. At this rate I feel like I'm better off not sleeping at all. 

I wanted to calm down but my heart was now racing in my chest, as if I was having an axiety attack, I hadn't had one in months. The last one I had was on a jog with Merlin and it suddenly hit me. I felt like everyone was watching me intensely, and talking about me, I was so stressed from work and had a huge presentation coming up, I had been cooped up indoors working on my own for so long that I got anxious at the thought of going out. I didn't feel comfortable at all, I hit the ground as if I was having a heart attack and the next thing I know I was breathing into a paper bag in hospital, waiting on Finn to come get me, (Ben was working away at the time, he knew of it and asked me if I wanted him to come home but I told him it was okay) it was awful.

The worst thing is when people, sometimes even friends dismiss it as you being 'awkward and attention seeking', or 'just shy', as if anyone in their right mind would want to be socially anxious at unpredictable times. 

I just rubbed my face with my hands and we just sat there for a while, even though my eyelids were so heavy. 

"You need to have a little water okay?" he said and I nodded. There was this thing he said the doctors told him he could do if I had nightmares to help me get back to sleep without having to resort to medication every time, I've never liked taking pills. When I was younger and teaching new explorers in my sea scout troop how to sail I got whacked in the head so many times with the boon because they never warned me when they were going to do a tack (change the boats direction) and I ended up on painkillers for ages and hated it.