Officially Cumberbatched? A sequel to 'Well and truly Cumberbatched'

Chapter 29

Tuesday. Morning.

St Thomas' Hospital. Room 406. 

"Rosie, hi" Dr Lucy said as I entered her office, Ben, mum, and dad in tow. Merlin was at home with Mrs Hudson, she came over about an hour ago.

"Hi"

"How are you feeling today?" she asked as I looked around, not really paying a lot of attention to the sounds around me, before setting down on a brown leather sofa; a glass coffee table covered in magazines, a box of tissues and textbooks on bee keeping in front of me, another sofa to my left facing the hospital gardens which I could see through the wall length windows. 

"Not much" I said as Ben sat next to me, mum and dad were on the sofa facing the window, I already had a month of hospital walls, I don't want to be back here.

I know they're good people but it's tiring.

"Are you okay with having them here?" she asked, sitting in an armchair not too far from me, about a foot or two.

"Yeah, it's fine" I quietly said. 

We just sat there for a while, I'm just I'm tired, not always but sometimes I'm just exhausted, like my mind doesn't want to face the day; I just end up crying to myself sometimes when I'm on my own for a few minutes, I don't know how to fix myself, and that's all I want. To feel normal again like nothing ever happened but it did happen, and here I am. 

"Tell me, how have you been feeling recently?" she asked, pulling me from my thoughts. 

"A range of things I suppose. Angry, content, upset, infuriated. I'm just tired now." I said tucking some hair behind my ears, looking at the fibers on my black tights, I just threw them on with the blue shorts I was wearing yesterday morning, a white vest and a chunky maroon cardigan. Oh, and one white converse, if that's important to mention. 

"We'll start with angry, infuriated and upset as they're related terms, tell me about it"

"I just feel so angry sometimes, like not a little angry but really angry, really really angry. I could just smash a window with my bare hands or something, because those horrible people done this to me and Merlin and I can't make them feel how I feel, I can't put them through what they put all of us through.

I want to be able to just throttle them sometimes you know? Just so I could feel something, like I could feel that they know what it's like to be me right now, I just feel confused at the best of times; you don't think that walking home with your dog to spend the evening with him and your boyfriend would turn into your personal living nightmare" I sighed, pushing my glasses back along the bridge of my nose with my index finger as Ben placed a hand on my back. 

"Would you like to expand on your feelings of being infuriated, upset?" she asked

"I just feel frustrated sometimes, I got so bored of being cooped up here. Going nearly a month without Merlin, apart from through little videos Ben took and the occasional Skype call when he was okay to face the day.

The most I've ever gone without seeing or being with him since he was born was a few days if I was going far for a short time and didn't want to disrupt his routine. I mean I couldn't take him for a walk, or run around with him, rub his little belly or just curl up in a ball and talk to him, and rub his little head; I'm never going to get those four weeks back with him. We do everything together, he's always there and I'm there with him, for him.

How could anyone hurt an animal? 

That wretched witch grabbed his collar and tried to choke him, I could choke that thing right now, and I wouldn't stop, I really wouldn't I'm not even joking I really wouldn't stop if you let me near them I swear to god I'd finish them off with my bare hands their friends if they had any wouldn't even recognise them; he was cold, scared, frightened out of his damn mind, he shouldn't have been made to feel like that, he's everything to me, he's my companion he's my friend, they took him from me, they had no right to do that! He's mine!" I rubbed my fingers along my temples, was this suppose to calm me down because I felt more pissed off by the second now.