Officially Cumberbatched? A sequel to 'Well and truly Cumberbatched'

Chapter 65

"What?"

"You can't keep going back and forth, take a break, fawn over me, despise me, love me, hate me, and then what? What do you actually think is going to come of this? I can't win with you can I?"

"I can't win, you can't win." I lastly uttered, completely lost.

"This is a mess" he sighed, I couldn't disagree.

"I'm so sorry Ben, this is a mess, a total mess."

He quivered, aggressively wiping away at his left eye. "I know."

"I'm going back to the chalet; I need to get Merlin. I just need to go; I can't stay here hurting you." I said, running away as usual, defaulting into bad habits.

Ben got up immediately.

"You can't just walk away...please. You can't." he said, calmer, tired even.

As was I.

"Yes I can. I'm really tired, my mind's all over the place and I feel like something is wrong with me. I know there is. Now I've hurt you and I don't know what else to say. I can't stay here; we both know that." I said opening the door of the small room for myself and walking again.

"Rosie." Ben said, I kept walking towards the door, drowning his pleas out.

"Just stop!" Ben snapped, his grip bruising, forcing me to swing around to face him.

"Why, why would you grab me like that?!" I stammered, his fingertips dug further into my arms, he was looking through me.

"Please, you can't just walk off li-" he barely said as I shuffled away from him.

"Why would you grab me like that?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry, please just don't go. Stop running away for once, just stop. I was scared, I don't know why I did it. Just don't walk away, stop running away from everything. Stop running away from me."

"I'm not running away from you, I'm really not. I'm just...walking away from today. My head's all over the place. I don't want to say something else to really hurt you." I said not meeting his eyes.

He stepped forward like he wanted to embrace me but I turned away from him.

"No, you can't just do this. You can't. If you walk away you're going to race away with your thoughts, ruin everything."

"Ben, get off of me." I backed into the wall avoiding his eyes, running away.

"Look at me! Stop looking away!" he held my face, forcing me to look him in the eye, I couldn't see anything through the tears.

"Ben you're hurting me please."

"Just listen!"

"You're hurting me!"

"Just stop crying, we'll sort it out. You need to stop fighting me!"

"I can't, I'm sorry I can't do this right now"

"Just fucking look at me! For godsake! Look at me! I'm here! I'm listening! Just please just look at me! Stop shutting me out! Please! I'm begging you just don't shut me out! Stop trying to walk away from me! Please! Just look at me!"

"I can't! Not anymore! Not right now! You and me, no, I can't do this."

"What?" he was so quiet; his voice was running away from him.

"I didn't mean it like that, I really didn't. please, I'm so tired, I need to go." I sighed slumped against the wall, he finally let go.

"Walk away then. Or prove me wrong and stay, prove me wrong and stop running away for once. Stop being so self-absorbed for five minutes, make my day."

"Is that a threat?" I asked, he nodded folding his arms, protecting himself.

"Yes. You walk away and we're done. I'm not going to beg you anymore, I'm telling you."

"You. You don't mean that" I quietly blurted out, he walked away, sitting before the altar.