Officially Cumberbatched? A sequel to 'Well and truly Cumberbatched'

Chapter 66

"We leave after the wedding, go our separate ways and leave it at that. I'm done begging you."

"You don't mean that."

"I've had a lot to drink granted but I meant it. My god do you have any idea how selfish you sound these days? Christ it's all about you all the fucking time."

I walked over, sitting at the altar before him, he wouldn't look at me.

"You've stunk since you turned up, lacing your drinks with god knows what. I know you don't mean what you've said."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Because you know that I would never do the same to you. You might play Sherlock, and my god you play him very well but you are not him. You would never let someone fall from your memory knowing they hold the same information, feelings, hopes and fears for the future. You're not as heartless as you're trying to act. You're trying to protect yourself because I'm hurting you. You don't mean what you just said."

"Explain."

"Because you're a good person."

"We all lapse from time to time."

"I know, especially when you're tired, tired of trying with someone so complicated, selfish, childish and, I don't know, confused I guess."

He simply looked at me, nodded.

"The only reason you're being so defensive is because we both know the same thing." I said, he exhaled, his head in his hands.

"What? What story have you got for me now."

"That the only person who could truly hurt you is me and the only person who could truly hurt me is you. You're my pressure point and I'm yours. You know that neither of us could ever truly let go of each other. We both know the idea of not being in each other's lives would hurt more than any words we've hurled at each other tonight or in the past. I could walk out this door right now and I'd still love you as much as I did when we first became friends and every single minute since."

A few minutes passed, he didn't say anything and sat next to me; neither of us spoke.

"I can't keep doing this. This isn't us. We never chose this life, it was thrown at us that night and every day since. The people who've been rooting for us to break up ever since it became public that we were together, the person who did this to us and Merlin.

This is them. Not us. If I had to walk away from us because it just wasn't working, then that's different. It'd be the single biggest regret of my life but if I...I had to t- let you go then I would if that's what you wanted. But them? No, they're not worth it, they put us here, this isn't us."

"I know Ben, I know it isn't, I haven't exactly made it easier for you."

"You don't have to remind me Rosie. Look, if you go back, it's fine. Just don't..."

"I'm not going to, I promise." I looked over at him, he shrugged clasping his hands together.

"I meant what I said Rosie, if you keep pulling away I can't do this. I won't. I'm not holding you back but I'm not chasing you either." He muttered, I understood.

"I'm going now. I'm not walking away from us, just today." I quietly said standing up, he didn't protest.

He rubbed his face with his hands and nodded, as tired as I was.

"There is one thing Ben." I said sitting next to him again.

"What now?"

"The drinking, the drugs, we have to do something about it. I'm not judging you, or asking anything of you. Not right now but when we get home something has to change. Let's work on one thing at a time okay? I'm here, I know I've been difficult, and a brat, and just awful but I mean it. I'm here, I need some space but I am here. I'm really worried about you Ben. I know I've been a self-absorbed shit of a person but I am here."

"Do you mean that?" he sounded so infantile now, I rested my palm on his knee, he looked so defeated.

"I do mean it. we'll work something out. We can't afford to keep destroying what we have. Not anymore."