SPACES [Editing]

For What It Is

Harry Styles

[FLASHBACK:

"Don't you think the stars ever get tired of humans?" I asked Louis as we both stared up at the stars. It's become a normal couple thing for us-- being at the poolside in each other's arms and staring up at the sky at nighttime.

"That's an odd question, but no. I think they don't." He furrowed his eyebrow at me.

"Well, think about it. They've been around for a long time. Like, the stars that we're seeing now have been in the sky for generations now and they'll probably still be the same stars our grandchildren are going to see. They've been dead and they should be resting but they have to stay up there for hundreds of years; They're probably exhausted from all of our stories and our wishes. They probably think we're crazy." I explained to him, earning a laugh from him. I love it when he laughs. God, the crinkle in his eyes.

"Well I think they're perfect listeners. When I was a kid, I didn't really like praying to God, you know? I was never the religious kind even as a child because I had a hard time believing in Him? Because like, I couldn't actually see him? So I talked to the stars because they're just there. And not just that, they're blinking. Like actually blinking at us. Like they want us to know that they'll always be there to listen." He said, placing a kiss on my forehead as I held him closer to me.

End of flashback]

Somehow I think that we don't feel love for what it truly is. If we do, I think the whole world might already have exploded. It's like we've developed some kind of numbness to it so we don't get to feel its entirety. That's why we're still alive.

Think about it: Love makes people vulnerable. Think about how you build your walls so high up so no one can get through and how it only takes one smile for your defenses to come crashing down and your vow to never trust anyone again just loses its meaning. It's like no matter how hard you try, you just can't fight it and the harder you keep yourself from falling, the harder it hits you. It leaves you completely defenseless and you have no other choice but to embrace it with your all.

Think about how love builds up. How you just can't help but smile whenever you think about it. How you feel like you're going to explode into pieces and melt into a puddle at the same time. How it just takes you so high that you actually feel like you're flying and you don't even care if someone's going to be down in the ground to catch you. How everything just doesn't matter when you're with that one person and how you're willing to put everything down when it comes to seeing him-- even counting down up to the last second for a single passing glimpse that would linger for as long as it can.

And then you find yourself falling head-over-heels. You find yourself giving up little pieces of you until there's nothing left and that's okay because you realize that you aren't living for you anymore. Like you're some kind of prisoner and you can't get out but you just let it be, even shackling your own feet together so you can't run away and just stay there.

And how it hurts so much to not have love: to lose someone who once was yours, or how it is possible to lose someone you never even had. How the last eye contact could feel like a death sentence or how an empty stare could feel like being robbed of the air you've always had in your lungs. How a breakup could feel like glass shards flying towards your direction and how one last kiss could feel like your heart's being torn apart into the smallest pieces.

And the truth hurts but we all have to face it at one point: Love leaves. It doesn't care about how broken you are and how much you've changed after it has come and left. Sometimes it doesn't look back and you just have to be okay with it.