SPACES [Editing]

Gravitational Pull

Louis Tomlinson

I stayed up all night waiting for my husband to come home.

It wasn't difficult waiting for him because I couldn't get myself to fall asleep either. I was too afraid that the nightmares would come and haunt me when he's not around to hold me. What's worse is that I couldn't stop thinking about how he seems to be doing fine without me, like he'd always find a way to forget that I even exist.

It was almost six in the morning when a car pulled over in front of the house. It wasn't Niall's car, and I wish I didn't see who was driving but I did. It was James.

Harry came out from the car, smiling back at James. He ruffled his hair like he always does before slicking it back to its original state. They waved goodbye at each other and I watched as James drove away from Harry.

He walked into the house and noticed me sitting on the couch.

"Oh. Hi. You're up early?" He asked, obviously avoiding my gaze.

"I couldn't really sleep, so." I replied as he walked to the dining table.

"You didn't cook breakfast?" He opened the fridge to get himself a bottle of water.

"You don't expect me to cook breakfast while my husband's out partying with his ex boyfriend, do you?" I snapped.

"Please don't make it sound like a bad thing," he replied, like he couldn't hear himself.

"It is a bad thing, Harry. You left at around midnight without even telling me and you come back home from his car, obviously intoxicated. And now you're expecting me to welcome you with open arms?! What, was I supposed to hang up balloons around the house?" I was almost shouting. He didn't look fazed at all, he looked like he was just waiting for me to finish my sentence so he could spit out another argument.

"Well you couldn't really blame me, can you? After how you were with me last night?"

"So that was how you chose to solve it? You come back running to your ex just because I refused to fuck you? Well newsflash, Harry, marriage doesn't work that way. Sometimes reality hits you hard and you just have to be mature enough for it. Stop being a baby." I said, regretting the words immediately after they've left my mouth.

And then a tear left his eye. And another one. And the tears were flowing and all I wanted to do was to wipe them away and take back everything I said. But it was too late, he's already running up the stairs and into the room.

I wouldn't be surprised if he comes out with his luggage. Or mine. He's probably want to leave after what I said to him.

I hate how I'm always jealous. When I was with Hannah, I wasn't like this at all.

The thing is, Harry has his own gravitational pull. I know people will try so hard not to fall for him but they will, eventually. Even I couldn't defy it when I was falling for him. And I hated how it can also happen to everyone else. I want him all to myself. I know for a fact that I'm not half as handsome as some of his friends, which is why I was so insecure.

But now I'm not angry because I'm jealous. I'm angry because I know he can find a way to be happy without me-- and I'd probably be nothing but miserable without him. The thing is, I don't even care about my own happiness anymore. It's him, it's always been him.