SPACES [Editing]

Scent

Could I just say-- I love how Louis's brain worked on this one. His thoughts are just flowing and it's like how my mind is right now, writing this chapter.

It feels like the words just came together to form the chapter that I wanted. I'm happy.

Louis Tomlinson

Harry talks in his sleep. That's how I found out that Harry was already home.

He didn't even make a sound when he entered the room. He just laid down carefully on the bed (I felt how he was slowly dipping down) and the next thing I know, he was already sleep-talking.

He was mumbling something I couldn't understand and it's frustrating how he seems to be saying something to someone he's talking to in his dream.

He doesn't look drunk, but he's probably exhausted. He hasn't been home since the party ended and I don't even know where he's been, but they all spent the entire day looking for him. I have no idea if they've already spoken to him, but at least now he's here.

It felt weird just watching him. I've gotten used to him letting me fall asleep before he does, just so he can wake me up whenever my nightmares hit me. And now I'm here staring at him, not planning on going back to sleep anytime soon.

He had a puzzled expression on his face like he was in the middle of an argument, and I spent so much time thinking about whether I should wake him up or not.

What perplexed me wasn't the fact that he talks when he's sleeping-- I was shocked by the fact that I wasn't even surprised about this habit. Like I actually knew about it. I don't know how my mind did it, but it's one of those things that's familiar.

That, and how good Harry smells right now. It's not like he's wearing a manly perfume (and I'd know because Liam would always wear those), but it's strange how his scent just rings so many bells in my head.

His scent is a memory.

I remember how James told me about memories being triggered in different forms-- using different senses. But his scent wasn't just a trigger, it is the memory itself. I figured Harry's scent isn't something I've forgotten. It's always been there, I've always remembered it.

He smells like fresh linens with a hint of apples (the shampoo that I've once smelled in the bathroom somehow smells different on him). He smells clean. And home-y. Like a smell you could come home to every time. I can't even explain it in words but it does things to my brain-- and I haven't really paid attention to it until now.

I don't even know why I'm always so drawn to him. Sometimes I try to justify it with the fact that my mind will be drawn to anything familiar, anything that reminds me of something. But how I feel whenever I see Niall and our friends is different from how I feel when I see Harry.

It's not like my heart goes batshit crazy, but I always feel the need to be close? Like I feel uneasy when he's not around and I keep thinking about him all the time?

And it's not like I'm acting upon it, because I'm not. He might feel uncomfortable if I get too close. I've noticed how shifty he's been lately, like he's walking on eggshells. Maybe he's just being careful with me.

Because!!!! He has a husband!!!! He's already drawn unseen boundaries around him!!!! I'm not supposed to cross lines I cannot see!!!!