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Chp 86 I'm "Fine"

Bella

I woke up by the raging sunlight as it pierce through my eyelids. I just fell asleep, for godness's sake! Huffing, I got up, remembering someone cheated on me. I kept the water works away and went to the bathroom to wash my face for breakfast.

"Morning,"I said and slipped beside Rosalie and Alice in the dining room, " good morning, sweetheart. How's your night?" Esme smiled at me and laid out the toast in front of me. Rosalie grabbed my hand under the table and squeezed it lightly" awesome"I grinned/ its awesome, I didn't lie. I made music. "How's Arizona?" Carlisle asked, spreading peaut on his bread. " amazing with the sun, dad. " I said simply then heard groaning.

" mom? can you get me some painkillers? my head is throbbing." the voice that send me butterfiles in my stomach all these years rang in my head. my heart clenched at last night disaster. Controlling my head to my mocha, I pressed my lips into a thin line. "Bella! you're finally home!" he said. i dared myself to look at him. I forced myself a smile at him and said. " hey, I miss you." enjoy cheating behind me? Emmett and Jasper stared at us warily. edward's face changed and i knew he knew something is wrong. Something is wrong alright.

Esme came after that, handing him a box of pills and he took it, knowingly and sat down. I kept my head down every time he tried to talk to me and i would simply say a ' yes' or nod. the family also quickly grasped whats happening between us. I need to let go. i need to know the truth. Suddenly, the door bell rang, and Esme went out for the mail.

" Bella? where's your ring?" Alice asked. Didn't Alice know 'bout this? The family except Emmett and Jasper looked at me. i took a deep breathe and looked at Edward's alert green eyes. swords attacked my heart again just by gazing at his face. " Edward? where have you been, last night?" I asked, eyebrows dipping in. he rubbed his face, maybe trying to remember. Emmett and Jasper's head went lower. " uh... Em and Jasper, we went to a club. " he said, confused at my question. " meet anyone there? " i asked. " no, why?" he asked. i heard Carlisle's placed his sliver ware beside his plate.

" Edward Cullen." i heard Esme's stern voice came from behind and he placed a...magazine in front of him. Edward immediately took it and read. " no... i..." he stammered and Alice snatched it away and read it out loud. " Edward Cullen was found arms hooking with a mysterious girl in front of the Shoho Club yesterday all drunk. Did he cheat on Isabella Swan? read on to find out..." her voice became lower and lower. " didn't meet someone huh?" i asked, snorting and stood up, glaring at him. " no, Bella, listen to me. That wasn't-" he stammered. " wasn't me. Bull crap, Edward. i was there. i witnessed it, Edward. you nickname the girl. Bri Bri. " i said the name in disgust and his eyes became wider. " you told me she's your wife, Edward. YOU FUCKING TOLD ME, YOUR WIFE SHE'S YOUR WIFE! " I roared, eyes burning into his. Esme didn't even scolded me for cursing and yelling over her dinning table. i heard Alice whispered/" oh my god.". " just months after my wedding and you cheat on me, Edward.' I shook my head at him. I'm tired of this stupid crap.

" where is my ring? Question. I threw it to your drunk damned face, Edward. i hope you caught it." I said roughly and stomped to the attic-my favorite hiding place-. I curled into a ball on the green bean bag and cried.why can my life be perfect? why cant i just run away from the negatives? i wish love never existed. it caused me pain. Snatching my notebook up, I tried again with the lyrics. No love, just music. yes, i can live with that.

" Bella! i know you are inside! let us in!" Rosalie's pleaded then I heard banging. Ignoring them, I closed my eyes and sense the music. Finally got it, i smiled and scribbled down. " Don't let them in, don't let them see, be the good girl you always have to be...reveal....conceal, don't feel, don't let them know...well,,now they know..." their fists kept banging the door, annoyed, I grabbed my keyboard and my notes, heading to the rooftop.

I decided to start from the top again." let it go, let it go, can hold you back anymore. let it go, let it go, turn my back and slam the door, the forest trees green on the mountain tonight, not a man to be seen, a kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen. The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside. Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried, don't let them in, don't let them see. Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don't feel. Don't let them know... know they know..." I hesitated for a while, tapping the pen on my chin. " let it go, let it go, couldn't hold it back anymore..." i smiled, using the first verse and placed my keyboard on my lap and begun playing.

I am in my happy place with my music and I feel enough.