Terrible Things (Harry Styles Love Story)

Chapter Twenty - Six

December...

"Diana... what is this?" he asked.

Oh my god. The shimmering piece glistened and shined at me - mocking me. Giving me hell for not telling Harry sooner. "Harry, I-"

But he cut off. "Let me see your wrists."

But I shook my head. "Harry, let's not do th-"

"Now," he demanded.

Looking down at the floor, I walked to Harry slowly. But slow wasn't slow enough. Within an extreme small amount of time, I was in front of him. I didn't look at him. Instead I just put my left wrist out.

Harry held it up so that he could see it better. I turned to look at him through my peripheral vision. He put his hand to his forehead and sighed as he shook his head. "God..."

"Harry, I can explain..." I trailed off.

"Explain what? How you've been lying to me this whole time? How you've been hiding this from me?"

But I shook my head, refusing to believe what he was saying. "I wasn't lying!" My voice cracked as tears came out I my eyes.

Harry scoffed. "Yes, you have been. Diana, you've been my life this whole time... and I thought that I was yours. But if you couldn't trust me enough to tell me this... then I guess I was mistaken."

The tears flowed fast. "No, Harry. It's not like that. I was going to tell you right after I came out. I swear. Harry, please..."

"What? What do you want me to do? Tell you that it's all okay? Tell you that I forgive you? Just forget that this ever happened?"

"No, I just-"

"Just what?" he continued to cut me off.

I sighed. "Harry, I love you."

He blinked and his eyes looked red and full of tears. But he wouldn't let them out. I could tell how much he was keeping it in.

"Harry..."

Nothing.

"Harry, say something."

Still, he said nothing.

I moved closer to him and shook his arm. "Harry, please say something."

He snatched his arm away. "I just need some air," he said and then walked away and out of my room and soon, out of the house.

Once I heard the front door slam, I sunk to the floor. I thought about taking the blade and doing what always made me feel better... But I realized that it would only make things worse with Harry. I care what Harry thinks of me... even if he chooses to never talk to me again.

~~~

Half an hour... an hour... I don't know how long passed before the door opened downstairs. I didn't even bother going downstairs to greet who it was. I just assumed it was my mom. She always came around this time. Well, I wouldn't know. I don't even know the time. How long have been in this position? What am I doing with my life?

Footsteps coming up the stairs made me snap out of my thought process. I sat up slowly, using all the energy inside of me. I looked in my doorway and saw Harry.

I blinked hard... but the image didn't go away. So I wasn't imagining things. "Harry... what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I never left."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

He came out of the hallway shadow, and I saw it. His eyes were red and bloodshot and swollen. And his cheeks were red and tear stained. He sniffed as he walked closer to the bed, his boots making thuds on the floor. "Well, I did leave. I stayed for a good ten minutes. Then I left. But a couple minutes later, my vision because blurry so I came back and I've been down in my car ever since."

"Were you... crying?"

"I was thinking, and then I realized..." he began, ignoring my question, "I'm so stupid. God... All the signs were there. You even tried to tell me once. But I didn't let you talk. God, I'm so sorry, Diana."

He put his hand on mine and I watched as he searched for the words to say.

"And when we first met... I was such a jerk to you, and that didn't help either... ugh. I'm so fucking stupid. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry..." he said, and I saw a tear slip out, but he looked away, wiping it.

I shook my head, holding his hand tightly. "This is not your fault, Harry. I've done this for... god knows how long. This is not your fault, okay? It's mine and mine only. I shouldn't have kept it from you for this long. I love you, but I would be fine right now if you wanted to leave me."

"Are you trying to push me away?"

"No, I'm giving you a choice. I need to know if you're okay to be with me when I'm like... this. If you don't want to be with me anymore, I won't blame you. Just let me know now..." I trailed off. This was taking a risk, but I didn't want to force him to be in a relationship with me if he can't be.

He smiled slightly. "Don't you get it? Diana, I love you. I want to be with you... I want to be with you now, tomorrow, and every day after that for the rest of my life. I only feel love for you. Okay?"

I nodded with a small smile. "Okay."