Supernatural Imagines{Completed}

I Was Always Alone

Warnings, major angst, marriage issues, my morbid sense of relief in a way.

First Person

Conventions. The one thing I hated. Of course I was there to support my husband who sat on stage with his best friend. The fans asking multiple questions about their lives. Not once did Jensen mention me. Gen sat next to me making small talk and I replied in short answers.

Gen was different. She is the sweetest person I have ever met, and there is nothing wrong with that but I normally don't hang around those kind of people. Her kids are adorable, don't get me wrong but they were crazy, like making messes and energetic.

I get Jensen had his acting career for his show but I always feel so alone. He always told me to go to Gen's to keep her company. He always sent me there when he would go some place with Jared.

I understand they are best friends, hell, even brothers but it always felt like I was in a marriage with two other people other than my husband. They seemed to always tag along on events, holidays and vacations.

Then there were the conventions, when hundreds of girls gawked over my husband, Jared and Misha. Then the photo ops where the girls would hug him tightly or look into each others eyes. I mean, from my perspective, it was just strange to me.

A voice brought me out of my thoughts.

"Okay, Jensen we know you are with Y/n but why don't we see her that often?" A fan asked your husband.

Jensen's eyes met mine, immediately I knew what he was going to say.

"Well, she doesn't want to hang out with the guys, she rather stay with Gen and the kids. Girls always stick together. On the plus side she gives me a gift when I get home." He winked at me, at this point my blood was boiling and I stood up, storming out of the room. I marched to our room and let out a scream.

Anything to let the anger out. I pulled my suitcase onto the bed stuffing my clothes in with rage. His panel should last another half hour, enough time to get a ticket back home. I walked to the bathroom when I heard the door open. Jensen immediately saw the half-filled suitcase.

"What the hell are you doing?" His voice stern, yet laced with worry.
I ignored him, heading to my suitcase when he blocked me, grabbing my arms. The bottles dropping to the ground.

"Please talk to me." His voice was only a whisper.

"I'm going home, you have fun here."

"But I thought we were going yo have fun, you and me. Gen and Jared." He offered but I wasn't taking it.

"Thats the fucking problem!"

"Gen and Jared? I thought-"

"Not them, you! You always have them tag along but what about just me and you!"

"Well we can go-" he started but I interrupted.

"No, I can't do this Jensen. I sit at home alone because you have your show and when you finally get a break, you go out and live your life with Jared. While I am stuck with being alone, you say I have Gen but us girls dont stick together! If you took the time and realized that I am nothing like her. I want to live with you, I want to go to concerts with you, I want to be on jet skis with you. But no, 'if Gen isn't going then it isn't fair for Y/n to go'. That is complete bullshit! I want to hang out with you guys, not Gen and the kids for fucks sake. It hurts so damn much to see the love of your life happy and living their life without you. I go months without seeing you that you don't even realize I cry myself to sleep every damn night. I feel like I am alone all the time and it hurts. I was always alone!" Tears were rolling down my cheeks. Jensen stood there tears rolling down his cheeks.

He imagined being left for years alone as he would watch someone else live their life happily. God would he hate it. He couldn't imagine how you felt. A door slam caught his attention, noticing the room empty.

---------------

A month later

I had been staying in the guest room. I spent each day trying to figure out what to put in the divorce papers. But nothing was coming to mind. He earned everything he has now. It was just me. Soon enough I found myself once again passed out on the bed.

Third Person

Jensen opened the door, immediately seeing you asleep, again. Of course he noticed the weight loss, loss of appetite, maybe it was his fault. He also noticed the divorce papers laid on on the desk against the wall. He tried getting your attention, gifts, money, even tried seducing you but your eyes seemed lifeless like the hope faded years ago. He kissed your forehead before heading to bed himself.

The next morning, he got up and checked on you, you were laying in the same position as last night.

"Y/n?" He said quietly, stepping closer. Jensen knelt on the floor by the bed, his hand reaching out to your cold cheek. "Y/n come on, stop playing." He shook the bed slightly. But nothing changed.

"Y/n!" He screamed, tears running down his face. He pulled you to his lap, he held your body close.

"Come on baby! Wake up, please just wake up." He cried rocking your body back and forth. "Damn it! I'm so sorry baby, I love you so much." He leant down and put his trembling lips to your forehead.

He later found out, there was no cause of death. You had passed on peacefully.

Months later, he drank away, spending very little time with Jared. He stayed in the guest room for weeks never taking a peek at the divorce papers. He kept your wedding ring on a chain around his neck. Never removing it, even on Supernatural. Now he is alone, knowing the love of his life is gone forever.