The Maia and Ross Diaries

C1 - Pilot

I didn't know how to be a mature senior, I was awkward almost twenty four seven after the Summer came to an end. I was silent.

I had either had to learn the hard way, or let people ask me "how are you?" all my life or "are you okay?" for the rest of my life and the fact that I live in a close knit town, I'd been dead serious.

I was certainly not okay, I felt like I was never able to breathe most days. Maybe it was better to smile. Today I felt so paper thin, I could barely bring myself to even act like I was on happy drugs. I felt worried and I could've dealt with it, but that's where my maturity fails. That's when the silence is most eloquent.

I used to expect no pity in the halls of Unison and everyone either feared me or wanted to be me; until my mom died, and only left me with her journal. I know how brilliantly over used that sounds. But it's actually tougher than it sounded. But when you keep your head up anyways, and face the damage it means something more and what you see with your eyes is just what you see. The pain isn't actually visible.

I'd become someone I don't even recognize anymore... and I wanted to change, show everyone my Wonder woman resilience. There is a such thing as second chances after all, such as feeling alive again. I would know. But the thing we ask ourselves almost everyday is can people really change? That I wouldn't know.

First Day of School (Re-fraze) BACK to school.

Walking into the doors of high school for my last year was going to be pretty tough. That is, the only way I could describe my pain for the boundaries, indecisive attending delusional place of what I called my second nightmare (dare I say it again) high school. Little dramatic, I agree. But go big or go home.

And just before you think I'm as innocent as I come off, I wasn't there to know that I had lost mom to cancer. My sister was, while I was at a party... A party. Getting high and not giving a care in the world. But that's what I get.

This whole high school thing would be much easier, if I didn't feel like everyone was staring at me.

I'm still trying to find out who I am. Even though I pretty much planned my entire future ahead of me I am now pretty much fucked. I was born in Jacksonville. It's a small town, but its malls are spectacular. Just saying. I had the most positive parents who helped me with all of this. But there's one left. My dad, He decided to recover seeing his kids we're moving on without him. Well Hailey was; my younger sister, but I was still reeling. Weakly. That's why this year I've set boundaries. I'm not going back to my old ways. Never again.

The best part of having no emotions in public, is that I can think rationally.

I'm a senior. But I still act like a junior, most of the times due to my "trying to change" phase. I used to be the person you're about to meet next. Dana.

Dana, my arch enemy who looked like she was enjoying my pain, with the wanna bee's at her side. They always gave me disturbing "I'm more popular than you" glares at me whenever they passed me in the hall. Cliche and out played. But this time Dana and the wanna bee's actually stopped and talked to me. "I heard about your mom, Mitchell." She said hands on her hips and makeup thickening at me. My head had traveled to the ground, and I'd wish I would've disappeared. "Well it was cancer, she couldn't make it that far out anyway." She added. No matter how much I wanted to punch Dana, I saw my friends who loved me no matter what would've happened to me and my past. I remembered my boundaries and I stuck to them. Dana and the wanna bee's watched me float off to the corner of high school where me and my friends always have our reunions.