The Maia and Ross Diaries

C51 - Won't Hurt No More, Now

Dear, Journal

I have damage that compares to a construction site and I have hurted until I wanted to peak... but I'm still here. Sometimes, eventually, we try so much until that same thing that made us stop trying in the first place - comes back to haunt us  - rather it is good or bad sometimes it might not be healthy. 

Getting out of bed is dangerous these days itself. And I just want to be safe and feel the same and write the same. I want to feel like the universe is off my shoulders just for a single day and that gets harder because even though this is your day, you are not always in control of what happens to you in your day. Sometimes you are just a witness to it.

I woke up to Ross. It felt weird. But I stayed cuddled up next to him anyway in a smile.

School Steps / With N and A
Before classes

"You what with who!" Allie shouted on the right of me. "Aren't you pregnant -- or hm, pregnant?" The words we're shockingly getting more normal to me, as my circle we're the only people who knew including Stormie. My dad never knows until I decided something. What am I, 1 week pregnant?

"I think it's hot," Nina said on the left.

My two lovelies we're playing devil and angel, while we we're catching up on each others latest dramas. But here's something oddly new --- on our old spot, on the steps.
Junior year we ruled this section with a bunch of other random people.

"Did you know Dana was a slut?" Allie insecurely ate her sandwich from a zip lock bag -- wow.

"Yes." Nina and I said at the same time.

"Exactly, she's been sleeping with all the male photographers at NFLB, and she thinks I'm all hopeless and jealous," Allie chewed her sandwich with a feisty setting. "Please; but of course she challenged me this weekend, who can sleep with the most pb's."

Nina and I looked at her wordless, but of course I protested. "Pb's?"

"Photographing babes," She smirked. "Keep up Maia."

"All I'm saying is use extra protection," I added. Nina giggled over her crush pop, and when I eyed her, the cringe from her body started.
"Sorry," She sipped deeply into her pop.

"Anyways," Nina started. "Are you gonna do it?"

"Hell yes." She did her famous head roll.

Meanwhile I couldn't be in the mood for agreeing. I don't want to repeat my problems but I couldn't believe me out of all people could be plopped into this situation.

I put on a smile, and wore tighter clothes but you all know how the fake-smiling thing ends. With a whole bunch of tears.

"What are you going to do with Austin, M?" Nina pointed down the steps at a dysfunctional Austin throwing a book over the school gates.

Before I could answer... "Hey, losers," A 'dysfunctional Laura' showed up, and this time with a crew. 'Cheerleaders.' pft.

I stood up when Allie dropped her sandwich probably scared out of her mind, seeing that Laura had another smoothie. But the brave Nina crunched her orange crush pop figure.

"What now?"

"Oh Maia, no need to put the itch in bitch," Laura said eyeing me from head to toe. "We just want our seats back."

Are you kidding me? A seat? You know, loner Maia would simply just move but I guess you could say I was no longer a loner. I'm pregnant, PMS'ed, and pissed. "I think this bitch is gonna stay awhile," I started as the red uniformed cheerleaders laughed in the background. "Besides I thought you we're on another one of your pussy-out trips."