If you met Maia you'd think of her as the same as anyone you've ever met. The girl on the magazine, and for a while, just for a while she wanted to believe the same thing. But she was different. The young girl does lose something that makes a life f...
People give you a reason to be mad at them of course, it's the reality of life and some of us aren't ready to be lied to, cheated on, or disrespected in any form of it's kind. Lying, cheating, anger. I'm not cut out for it. But the reality of losing your sanity makes you realize you don't go through life without going crazy at least once. And feeling completely pissed.
But that doesn't mean you're going crazy. It means you're human.
That night I knew my relationship with Ross could never be the same. I thought I could do it that night. Lose my virginity; forget about everything including my mother. But that won't go away, just because of sex (The virgin part will) I was sticking to the commitment, continuing on ruining my chances of love and to die alone.
Love, Maia If you can
Dear, Journal
Screaming at Maia that night was a mistake. I shouldn't had let it all out that way, but I had to let her know that she wasn't alone in this. The last thing I said was about her mom and that was probably what blew it all off, when she walked away---I let her...Even if she didn't have both of her parents with her, her parents we're always going to be ten million times better than mine.
Ross
At The Diner With Nina And Austin
"Hey, I'm just saying you can't just be in bed with the guy, kiss him, blink, stare, and leave, Maia," Austin told me, as I looked at Nina for her opinion. Nina avoided taking any one's side by chugging her chocolate smoothie down.
My friends were obviously right, but I just couldn't feel it between me and Ross. "I feel we're not right for each other."
"Oh, phony baloney!" Austin yelled, and Nina laughed right behind him. "If you like Ross, just do it already. Maia, your mom would want you too."
I couldn't believe that for sure, but Austin was right. If anything my girl talks with Nina and this talk right now were completely different. But Nina finally spoke up. "Stop second guessing who you are or what you want to do. If you don't love Ross... tell him that."
Monday
After three periods was Lunch, and I was avoiding any physical contact with Ross. I passed him at his locker as he was bringing out his own bagged lunch, and headed for the cafeteria doors free from any speaking. I speed walked like my life depended on it, figuring it was a normal lunch day today; I practically checked my eyes, to witness Allie run out the cafeteria screaming with today's pasta and milk on her body. As I stopped to wonder what happened I saw Bitchy D and the wannabee's laughing. "She's just as easy a target, like that Maia girl!"
Bitchy D and the wannabee's set up Allie for this day of embarrassment, and I started to cross my boundaries when I punched Dana's perfect-expensive little face on the spot, her leaning over toward the ground a small yelp coming out. Ross came in right at that moment, and him and everyone else stared in disbelief.
The wannabee's ran away, right in Allie's tracks, and the Principal wooed herself in with her fancy words.
The Principal's Office
"What were you thinking? That everyone would love you after your big scene?" Ms. Darwin said in suspicion. Ms. Darwin was really young and she claimed she could never be fooled. But that was proved wrong when Ross escaped the girl's bathroom last week.
"No. I was "thinking" I was bringing justice to the school." I gave her some lip, in my reply. Ms. Darwin was surprised I head rolled at her. Her face went from reasonable to angry as hell. "Why is that?" My eyes widened like I had just saw Allie run out the cafeteria screaming covered in today's pasta and milk--OH, I did!!
"You don't ever wonder why kids leave Unison high? Bitchy D ---I mean, Dana, is a bully! She splattered Allie with that stuff you call lunch!" I was crossing my boundaries today, punching Dana, talking stuff to my principal. Yesterday I was just the girl whose mother died, now I could call myself Holly Golightly. Yeah, I'm kidding. "You're part of the problem. She's rich, you're scared of her. You're just as much of a coward, as she is."
"I'm calling your father." She grabbed the phone on her desk. I looked at her like she was kidding but she was dialing the numbers in like there was no tomorrow. Better expect a voice mail.
Leaving the Principal's Office
As I burst out the office, I looked to see an empty hall. Everyone was in class, but me and that was a HUGE boundary crosser, even for me. I have never been this late a day in my life, but as I heard voices I knew I wasn't alone.
I turned the halls, including my class of Fourth period. I followed the sound of giggling and snickering voices and I was speechless to see Ross and Weirdo Georgia eating each other's faces. Georgia was the school's weirdo of weirdo's, but she wasn't an ugly weirdo. I realized I was in the middle of the hall, where they could see me, and I didn't hesitate to run when Ross saw me in the tips of his eye. His lips left her, and that's the last thing I saw before I ran to fourth period.
Ross's POV
"Is that your ex?" Georgia pulled my arm back in her grasp. I told her we we're never a thing, but that we we're really close. I mean at least she got in the bed with me.
"Really? Then let's not worry about her, now let's worry about us." She pulled me to her, tugging my pants down in three easy pit pocketing steps. She is weird. I backed away. I didn't mind her being weird, but she couldn't erase the feeling I had for Maia.
"What's wrong? Are you nervous?" Georgia said flirtatiously. I looked at her walking closer toward me. Something made me want to scoot over as she said, "I don't bite."
"Georgia...you're amazing, you make me feel amazing... but...." I couldn't come to dump her at just the first kiss. She held a hand on her hip. "Don't tell me you like that buzz kill."
I did. And that wasn't even a title for Maia. Maia was a fighter. And what I could bring myself to say was. "I love her." I was looking for love. Real love. Life consuming, confusing, tense, I need you every day of my life love.
Maybe sleeping with another girl wasn't going to help me find that.
Maia - Principle's Office
I stood in front of the principal, trying my best to not rip her hair out and keep a posture of someone who stays at a 3.6 GPA, deals with a crappy crush, and keeps a family together.
"Ross was right," I said leaning my head at her, while she looked away from her paperwork and up to me. "You act like Dana doesn't throw someone's textbooks to the ground every morning just for the fun of it, or calls them worthless freaks just to get a laugh out of it," I said serious, "You didn't stop me, but I'm telling you to stop Dana. If you really cared about Unison, you'd see that it can't conspire when one person is bringing everybody down."
I wanted to kiss Ross again. Badly. I ache to tell him to choose me even when I can't choose him back. And no. I can't. Don't think or say I can, because I am me and I truly... can't. It burns.
Reality burns. It does, but it's how you make it your reality that matters.
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