The Maia and Ross Diaries

C49 - Fighting Back

"Numbers and outcomes. People use it against you to try and define who you are. They try to hold you back, and take your dream away. Just know, your dream only dies when you want it to, not when someone else comes along. Only you can define who you are without numbers and outcomes. Only you can decide your dream. "

" We all try to make sense of why bad things happen to good people. The truth is, in the end the good guy always has a choice. So if I am the good guy what is my choice? Sometimes the right thing and the hardest thing are the same. Just remember, you can't go to the next chapter of your life if you continue to re- read the last one. So what is it? Am I going back in circles, because let's be real, I'm guessing the fourth time I've been in the same relationship. What's it going to be?? Just breathe they all say to me. It'll be okay, Maia, have fun and what I don't know won't hurt me. If people keep saying these things to themselves and other people you might as well not even apply to college. You'll have a baby to take care of. "

Riker's House - Ross' POV

"She's pregnant, dude." Riker said after I told him all we'd been through together. I only came to him for advice when I was deeply desperate which was every time when I was a sophomore.

"But I love her." I kept saying leaning against his door, while he was freaked out on his computer desk.

"She's pregnant." He repeated, now for the third time. I wanted to walk over there and shut him up, but Its true that I was here for some words of wisdom -- not a tape recorder.

"I know that," I put my hands along my hair that hadn't been washed for days. I had spent my days starring at my ceiling and eating old cereal.

He softly laughed. "Wasn't this girl almost raped? Yet she's your girlfriend?"

"Point?" I asked.

"Man," He laughed. "You shouldn't be here! The girl's probably shaking in her socks, now that the Ron dude wanted to see her naked. You should be there. With her."

"Good point," I replied. "Horrible reference."

Maia's POV

Dark Living Room

He took away my confidence.

I saw his face everywhere, the green eyes shooting out at me, and the creepy voice was all around my body. My dad put three locks on our door after the accident, but that hadn't changed anything. I was afraid, something I had never had to worry about being. I was Maia, valedictorian, queen, writer, but now was holding my legs on the couch watching the fire place like an elder.

Of course I was not attending school because he could be there. In the crowds, and I know. Just breathe they all say to me. It'll be okay, Maia, have fun and what I don't know won't hurt me. Well what I did know was that I was scared.

I was in bed with last year with psycho town, I nearly slept with him... and that's why you can't trust anybody. Nobody but the people you know, and it made me feel terrible. Like it was all my fault. I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be afraid. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, was all that I thought when I thought of Ron - besides his busted creeper ass motions. I hate you, I hate you.