The Maia and Ross Diaries

C27 - Stay With Me

      Out front of the Hospital

   I remembered when I had it so easy. When me and my friends went to the Diner, when after school we talked about only dreaming to be with boys, when we shopped at the Evergreen and even sometimes at Saint. I remember when we didn't have a care in the world, because everything was perfect, but here I was pacing in front of a 5 star hospital.

         I was losing people. People that we're my priority. My mom is gone, my dad might as well finish his bucket list, because he hardly wakes up in that hospital, my boyfriend wasn't breathing, and I don't know if these people can save him, as they said "They'll do what they can" and on top of that their not letting me in. So I just paced back and fourth in the cold, waiting for them to treat Ross. I wasn't leaving. No way. He needs to hear it from someone that his dad is going to jail after his recovery. 

         I felt bad, and that in some twisted way, in the corner of my head (which is sometimes 50% correct) was telling me this was my fault. Why else would Ross' dad try to kill him? I heard it from Ross himself. After he told his dad he was upset because I was moving, he called him a pussy. He's a better man than he'd ever be, to be honest, and Ross is by far trying to change. I could see that. 

I banged on the doors, waiting for someone to let me in. I had to see Ross! If he was going to die, I wanted to be the first one to know. But somewhere deep in my heart, I held on to hope. But it was draining, when I just fall on my knees, seeming to finally give up. I can't do anything. I can't save him myself, and I couldn't bare the pain of losing him. I told him I loved him, and I can't lose that. Our relationship was complicated, but he couldn't die. I needed him here. 

I needed to touch him, and know he'd wake up and give me a grin. The grin he gives when he knows everything's going to be okay.

I banged harder on the doors until somebody opened the door. 

"Maia!" Someone yelled. I didn't turn around, but instead I let out another bang on the door, and all I got was a lady giving me the evil eye, and sliding a dollar under the door.
"I'm not a hobo!" I banged harder on the door. "LET ME IN!" I must've looked like one though. I could feel my eyes we're blood shoot from tears and my body was ached up, that I could hardly bang as hard anymore. "Maia!" Someone touched my back.

I turned around and saw Nina and Austin. The taxi soon left, and I focused my attention back on the two. "You.. your here?"

She tightened me in a hug. I hugged back, watching Austin smiling from behind us. "How'd you know?" I said with a scratched and weak voice. 

I didn't tell them, because I wanted to face this alone. All this year, my problems had been flooded to her and Allie so much, that I thought it just made know sense. "Word gets around fast in Jackson V," She smiled. "Why didn't you tell --"
"I thought... I could face this alone." I whispered putting my head on her shoulders. But obviously I couldn't. Here I was, banging on the door of a elite Hospital. Even my dad, wasn't in here. He just had MS. Ross was stabbed and hit in numeral places and now he was being checked for damages - damages. Luckily his dad was at a completely different Hospital. Those two in the same room? Bad news wouldn't be the only thing I'd get.

"Stop." She said. "Your one of the strongest people I know. You survived your mom's death. You're not being a wreck in your room, because your dad has MS. You don't listen to Adele music, or eat icecream after a break up! After a life up! And even if you did you'd still be a survivor!"

I cleared my eyes a little kind of laughing. I had my head up when she said that but there was still one thing.

"I can't lose Ross...I .. I can't Nina.. you don't..."