[the avengers ➼ imagines]

steve rogers ≫ goodbye, i love you

word count: 1,100
requested by: nobody
pairing: steve rogers x reader
warnings: SADNESS OMG I cried writing this so bad so yeah you may cry I'm sorry

Time was running out, you weren't sure how you knew, but you could feel it. You felt as your life slowly drained away. As you lay in the dull hospital room, the flowers on the cabinet beside you slowly wilting away, just like you, and you knew it was only a matter of time until your fight was over.

Eleven months ago you were diagnosed with cancer. The doctor said they caught it early enough to treat it, and they did, until it came back even more aggressively than the first time. The doctor apologised, telling you that this time there was nothing that they could do.

Your friends were there for you to comfort you and reassure you, although in the end, no amount of reassurance could prepare anyone for death. It just seems impossible that one minute you're living, breathing, experiencing this world and all it has to offer and then suddenly you're just not. You can't prepare yourself for death because nobody knows what truly happens after the last grain of sand in your hourglass finally falls.

The hardest part about leaving this world will be leaving Steve behind. You'd been together 6 years. You knew that he was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with as soon as you met him. You were newly married when you were diagnosed with cancer. You felt your whole world fall apart. You had planned to spend your life with this man and now you would have none of that. You would never have children, you would never experience your child's first day of school, first boyfriend or girlfriend, their prom, nothing. You wouldn't get to grow old together, move to a nice house by the beach and sit on the front porch of the house reading the newspapers like two grumpy old people.

You were both still young, Steve still had his whole life ahead of him and you knew that you couldn't be selfish. You couldn't hold him back from getting to experience life. You would hope he would move on and experience the world with someone else, no matter how much it breaks your heart to know it wouldn't be with you.

You looked over at the wilted flowers in the vase, a small croaky laugh escaping your chapped grey lips. Who knew you could relate to a bunch of flowers so much.

You reached your frail arm out, picking up your mobile from the cabinet beside you. It was difficult to pick up given how frail your bones were but you knew that there was something you wanted to do before you finally went.

The hospital you were in was 2 hours away from the Avengers base, it was the best private hospital in the area, Tony insisted on having you placed into their care. You knew that there was no time left and you wanted to say goodbye before it was too late.

You dialled the familiar number that you knew off by heart, remembering the day it was given to you.  You lifted the phone to your ear, it rung a couple of times before you finally got an answer.

"(Y/N)? Is everything okay, honey?" Steve's worried voice spoke from the other end, instantly being your source of comfort in these final moments.

You nodded, quickly realising he could not see you. "Yeah, I jus-I just wanted you check up on you, see how everything was." You lied. You felt horrible lying but you didn't want your last moments with Steve to be filled with him worrying, you just wanted things to feel normal.

"I think I should be the one checking up on you, not you checking up on me." He joked, you could hear the bustling sounds of New York in the background, something you always loved.

"How was your day?" You asked, tears building up in your eyes. Your fingers fumbled with the blanket that was draped over your body.

"Good, I guess. Went for lunch with Bucky, picked up Samson from the vets, he misses you so much, (Y/N)." Samson was your golden retriever that Steve surprised you with four years ago, you may never have had a baby but you had Samson and he was your baby. You would miss him so much.

"That sounds good. I miss him too, so much." You replied, gulping the lump in your throat back, not wanting to make Steve worry.

"I'm gonna come up later on and visit. Do you want me to bring food or something? I was thinking maybe some Chinese takeaway." Steve suggested. You couldn't hold back the tears, you knew that there would never be a later on.

"Just whatever, baby. God, I love you so much." You cried, biting your lip to try hold back the emotions that were building up inside you.

"I love you too, honey. Are you sure everything is okay?" Steve asked.

"Everything is fine, don't worry. I just want you to know that you were the best thing that ever happened to me and that no matter what, don't let me hold you back in life. The past years with you have been the best years of my life. I want you to go on and do great things, make me proud, kid." You smiled through the tears.

"(Y/N), you're scaring me, please don't talk like this. We still have time, okay? I love you so goddamn much, everything is gonna be fine." He spoke. You knew that it wasn't going to be okay, but it comforted you. "I've gotta go, I can't drive and talk at the same time."

"Always the law abiding citizen." You joked. "But I wouldn't have you any other way."

Steve's deep chuckle sounded from the other end, "I'll see you soon, I love you." Steve spoke, the final three words breaking your heart.

"Goodbye, I love you, Steve." You uttered your final ever words to Steve in that moment. You ended the call, the phone falling out of your hand and smashing off the floor.

Your head fell to the side, your eyes falling on the flowers once again. One flower hung limply over the side of the vase. Your eyes filled with tears, watching as one of the petals slowly fell off. It gracefully descended towards the floor. Your vision became blurry, you felt as you slowly slipped from life, your final grain of sand finally falling. Your eyes slowly fluttered closed as you fell into a sleep you were never to wake up from.

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hi! my name is satan and I'll be taking your order today. would you like a broken heart with a side of sadness?

i cried writing this omg, i saw it as a prompt thingy on tumblr and i wasn't in the mood to write any fluffy happy stuff bc i am depressed af so im sorry