"Judicorn!" Connor screamed opening the door. Stef and Lena decided to make him a key so he can come and go as he pleases.
"I'm upstairs!" He heard Jude yelling back. He climbed the stairs then raced over to Jude's room.
"You're awake early."
"That's only because I was promised pancakes for breakfast."
"And I'll keep that promise, but you have to put pants on first." Connor gestured down and Jude's eyes followed his hand.
"Right." Jude paused. "I'm going to raid Brandon's closet." Jude got up and headed to his older brother's room, but stopped when he felt a pair of eyes on him. "And stop looking at my ass." He said over his shoulder.
"You're no fun." Connor called after him. He flopped down on his second bed and reached for the blue cased phone on his right. The first thing he saw when he unlocked it was Jude and Blake's most recent conversation.
"Do you like this shirt?" Jude held the shirt over his face.
"Yea, sure, whatever." Connor kept his eyes down while using his finger to scroll through the messages.
"You didn't even look at it." Jude huffed out annoyed.
"How long has he been texting you?"
"Who?"
"You know who." Connor was now the annoyed one.
"Since Monday." Jude confessed quietly.
"I don't get it. You promised me you'd tell me if him or Bryce was bothering you."
"I know, and I was, but I was waiting until the right time."
"There's never going to be a right time. They're always messing with you and you promise to tell me after each time, but you don't. You don't tell me and I always have to find out when you're in the hospital laying on your death bed because you OD'ed."
"That was a one time mistake." Jude avoided his boyfriend's raging eyes.
"Then what are these doing here?" Connor grasped the two pill bottles from the dresser.
"They're Jesus'."
"Stop lying. How can I trust you when all you do is lie?"
"Look who's talking. You snuck around with Daria all last week then told me you were at practice."
"That's not the same as this."
"It's totally the same, just when I do it I'm the liar."
"God, why'd do you have to make me the bad guy and make my life so hard. I know your life sucks, but do you have to ruin every body else's? Sometimes I wish I've never met you. It would make my life ten times easier." Connor instantly regret his angry words. He watched Jude's cheeks go red and his eyes start to water.
"Then let me help you out with that." Jude ripped the pills out of Connor's hand then ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind him.
"Jude!" Connor screamed twisting the doorknob. "Unlock the door, please."
"I'm just leaving you alone like you wanted."
"I didn't mean any of that." He heard Connor say from his room.
"You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it. If I would've known you didn't want me in your life, I wouldn't have wasted five years with someone who doesn't care about me."
"I do care, I was just mad."
"Yea, mad that I make your life so hard. Well you don't have to worry about that anymore." Jude's tone was barely above a whisper.
"I love you." Connor's voice cracked when the first few tears lulled down his face. He didn't know exactly what Jude was planning to do, but he wanted to have those be their last words. He fell to the ground when Jude didn't respond.
On the other side of the door Jude stared at the bottles in his hands. His head lifted up to his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were puffy and red and his whole face appeared flustered.
Jude continued to stare in the mirror. He'd emptied both bottles of pills into his hand. He was tired of all the pain and hurt.
~~~
Connor leaned against the wall with his knees to his chest and rested his arms on top. His mind was all dazed and tears stained his cheeks. He'd been sitting outside the bathroom for forty-five minutes. Nothing to do but stare at one of their pictures they had taken together and continuously Bang his head against the wall.
He began to hear the doorknob unlock then twist open. He shot to his feet, and for the first time in almost an hour, he'd felt hope.
"Judicorn." He said with tears of joy.
"I couldn't do it." He looked down at the pills in his hand. "I stood in front of the mirror with these in my hand. I was ready to put all of them in my mouth and never have to be hurt again. But then I realized, I can't do it." He walked back into the bathroom and flushed the laxatives and sleeping pills down the toilet.
"I never meant to hurt you. You're my pride and joy and I don't want to lose you." Connor reassures.
"You say that all the time, but an hour ago you made it pretty clear you never wanted me in your life." Jude reinforced.
"But that isn't true. I don't even know why I said that. I just want to forget this entire morning." Connor said.
"You might be able to forget it, but I'll never be able to forget the fact that part of you wishes I'd drop off the face of the earth." Jude went pale and started to cry again.
"Like I said earlier, I love you and I hate knowing that I made you want to take your life, and I know you're probably mad, but I'm not letting you go."
"I'm not mad. It's not like you're the first person to tell me you hate me. It just means more coming from you." Jude was crying a river. Connor wiped the tears away then hugged him.
"I know." Connor said into his hair. "I'm never going to say anything like that again. I care about you." Connor swayed the two back and forth.
"If you let me, I'd still like to take you out for pancakes."
"I'm too tired for pancakes." Jude mumbles into Connor's chest.
"Do you wanna snuggle?" Connor asked.
"Only if you want to." Jude's voice sounded shaky and scared which Connor could sense.
"I always do." They walked over the bed and laid down. Jude laid half of body on Connor with his arm next to his face. Connor had one of his arms wrapped around Jude and they let their legs tangle together.
"Jude?" Connor questions.
"Hmm." Jude hummed with his eyes closed.
"I'm sorry."
"I know." Jude replied closely before falling asleep.
