We're 18 and Crazy 》Sastiel AU

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Cas drove and drove, no specific destination in his mind. He didn't want to go home, not to the park, hell, he didn't even want to be on earth any more.

His blurry vision made it hard for him to see, so he pulled over to the side of the road and turned off his car. He glanced out the windows, trying to see where he was. He didn't dwell on it for too long though, as a sudden wave of nausea hit him. He threw open his door and stumbled out and over to the grass on the other side of the car. He threw up, doubling over and holding his stomach.

After he threw up everything in his stomach, he dropped to his knees next to the pile and started to sob. Everything about him was numb. He couldn't feel anything other than pain and heartache.

"I'M SO FUCKING DUMB!" He screamed into the air before sobbing again.

He covered his face as he sobbed, still feeling pain and heartache. He really meant what he said to Sam. He didn't know what made him do it, he just did.

After sobbing for a while, he stood up and went back to the car, his sobs low sniffles and cries. He looked into the glove compartment and reached in, grabbing the black pistol. He got fully into the car and closed the doo, looking down at the gun. He just stared and stared at it; eventually picking it up into his hands and turning it over and over.

His instincts made him check to see if the gun had bullets, so he did check.

Nothing.

The gun was empty, making Cas frown widely. He shoved the gun back into the glove compartment and closed it. He put his head back into his hands, and started to cry again.

Not today, Castiel... Another day... Soon.